i did not mean to go to Lisbon but here we are. I hardly meant to go to portugal! And now i’m in the side of Lisbon noone goes on purpose. The northern suburbs, full of black Brazilians. Far away from the consultancies and the hotels, half a day’s travel from it’s famous beaches. Crowded. Not like the beachhouse palaces i plopped my caravan down amongst. I just hope i can get back there before nightfall. Rejoin the happy surfer crowd or whatever. i’m grateful for having no choice but to witness reality’s other aspects. Eat some proper curry at a place called ‘Pizza Guru’. They feed me well.

It’s interesting. I came to the realization: “Cities are terrible places” back in Valencia.. it’s good that i did, because i would have tried to like Lisboa. It’s got something. Flavour smells, colours, plants i’ve never seen before. And apparently a large black community. Makes sense; i saw a glimpse of them waiting for the bus outside of the hillside mansions back on the coast. Domestic labour. Long commutes. Apartheid and class society are inseparable. Yeahhhh there are no coincidences. It’s fate that brought me here, to witness.

The bus driver told me he’s from Brazil, i suppose that’s true for most of them. I feel like a travel writer! a food blogger.. i don’t know. The world was too cruel a place for Anthony Bourdain to wanna stay here. I have thicker skin, but i’m less of a foody. This dish is called Rajma and it’s a thick curry with red beans and bright spices. I wanted golden rice but the guy said no: You get Jeera rice with Rajma. Ok. I won’t argue. No alcohol; i had some peach juice with it and i don’t think i’m going to finish all of my rice. It’s tasty but i’m going to have to navigate an hour and a half of public transport on a fridaynight in a city built on seven mountaintops that i’ve never visited before, didn’t mean to visit. Taking a 300km detour to bring back a rental car … But god does not roll dice, nor does she make mistakes. I just need to find a way to do my best with what i’m given. Make lemonade!

i prefer the situation where i have thoughts, to the situation where thoughts are having me. What this costs, is that i need to keep a sense of distance and suspicion to 'my' thoughts. Even especially good thoughts, especially when i have strong feelings associated with a thought. Damn! I don't get to go deep into enjoying the intense feelings associated with Being RIght anymore... but that's a price worth paying, ohhh it's worth paying.. because it avoids the steeper price of hubris, when we receive the inevitable bill for hubris.

I pay the price of scepticism of my own thoughts up front, rather than the price after the factr, of having mistakenly identified myself with my thoughts and learning the difference the hard way.

I'd rather not get to inflate my ego anymore with the perceived value of cool thoughts, than having to watch (and feel!) my ego get deflated when those thoughts lose their value when the ways in which they conflict with reality become apparent.

This is so fucjing good im melting im melting

“The principles of the October Revolution affirm the right of the Palestinian people to self-determination and an independent state”—Soviet poster, 1985

the best part about this video is that i used to follow benn jordan because he made videos about synthesizers. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FZy1lBNykA

amazing! many of you might know i'm all about BreATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE lol but i just found this video that helped me clear my nose a lot :D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxXauIfwBpw

i think telegram premium is a hoax just to pretend to have some income besides selling our data