My husband pled guilty after raping me
Back Story:
We were separated, he'd been sexually assaulting me for years and I had finally filed gotten the courage to file for divorce. He kept making excuses for why he could not hold up his end of our custody agreement. I'd just started a new job and did not have daycare lined up yet. The agreement was for him to stay for 4 days to watch over the kids while I worked for that first week.
I hadn't been assaulted by him in a while, he seemed to have excepted the divorce, he had a new partner from what I understood, and I thought I was safe again.
The assault:
On 09/12/2019 (the last of the 4 days he was staying, I was taking him home in the morning) I went to sleep after coming home from work (evening shift nursing so around midnight). I woke up twice in the middle of the night because I could feel what he was doing. I turned my head to look at him and he immediately stopped. He had been masturbating and penetrating me with his fingers. I was still too weak to move my body and dozed off again. The second time I woke up he had immediately started again. This time I was awake enough to move my body. I. Kicked. The. FUCK. Out of him. I kicked him hard enough that he fell from the bed and hit the floor. But while I was kicking him, I felt myself hitting a smaller body. He had our 3 year old (unpotty-trained) son laying naked next to him while he did this.
I don't remember if I slept again. I know that in the morning I sent him a message to confront him. I knew if I went downstairs to confront him face to face, I would kill him. He apologized and said he never meant to hurt me and he just didn't want a divorce. He always said this after he assaulted me. It was like he had a script in his mind of what to say to make me let it go. I got up. I put on something, I don't remember what I wore this morning. I marched downstairs, past him, grabbed my keys, went to the police station and told on him.
Reporting:
The first officer to greet me listened to my story and said "Okay.......he's your HUSBAND." As if that should have excused it. I don't know what it was about the way that I looked at him but he immediately went and got the detective they had who specialized in sex crimes. HE listened to me and took the report seriously. They let me write it out in detail. He asked me what I wanted to happen. He told me what the next steps were. I asked that they made him go to therapy. I knew that he likely did these things to me because he was violated the same way throughout his childhood. I knew he was a first time offender and jail was not likely so I wanted to make sure he was rehabilitated in SOME way.
He found the police report paper as soon as I got back (I'm sure someone who knew him saw the car parked at the police station after I went and told him). He ran from the officers for 10 days and then went in to talk to them and tell them that he did it because "it was his kink". They'd already filed charges and put out a warrant the day before, so they booked him 09/23/2019. He stayed there until March of 2020 when he was released on house arrest. This was when quarantine began.
The courts were closed until 2022 and then they continued. Lots of stalling over these years from his lawyer. Even a no call no show from his lawyer. They offered him a couple f reasonable plea deals. He came back with one for misdemeanor assault. We said no. I did not want it to look like this was not a sex crime. That was really important to me. No deal was reached. They marched on to trial. It was set for earlier this year. In the weeks leading up to trial, things were looking shaky. I was advised that cases like mine were extra hard because many people this men should be able to brutalize their wives. But I stuck it out. If I didn't fight for me, I knew I could not live with myself. No matter the result. About ... source
Back Story:
We were separated, he'd been sexually assaulting me for years and I had finally filed gotten the courage to file for divorce. He kept making excuses for why he could not hold up his end of our custody agreement. I'd just started a new job and did not have daycare lined up yet. The agreement was for him to stay for 4 days to watch over the kids while I worked for that first week.
I hadn't been assaulted by him in a while, he seemed to have excepted the divorce, he had a new partner from what I understood, and I thought I was safe again.
The assault:
On 09/12/2019 (the last of the 4 days he was staying, I was taking him home in the morning) I went to sleep after coming home from work (evening shift nursing so around midnight). I woke up twice in the middle of the night because I could feel what he was doing. I turned my head to look at him and he immediately stopped. He had been masturbating and penetrating me with his fingers. I was still too weak to move my body and dozed off again. The second time I woke up he had immediately started again. This time I was awake enough to move my body. I. Kicked. The. FUCK. Out of him. I kicked him hard enough that he fell from the bed and hit the floor. But while I was kicking him, I felt myself hitting a smaller body. He had our 3 year old (unpotty-trained) son laying naked next to him while he did this.
I don't remember if I slept again. I know that in the morning I sent him a message to confront him. I knew if I went downstairs to confront him face to face, I would kill him. He apologized and said he never meant to hurt me and he just didn't want a divorce. He always said this after he assaulted me. It was like he had a script in his mind of what to say to make me let it go. I got up. I put on something, I don't remember what I wore this morning. I marched downstairs, past him, grabbed my keys, went to the police station and told on him.
Reporting:
The first officer to greet me listened to my story and said "Okay.......he's your HUSBAND." As if that should have excused it. I don't know what it was about the way that I looked at him but he immediately went and got the detective they had who specialized in sex crimes. HE listened to me and took the report seriously. They let me write it out in detail. He asked me what I wanted to happen. He told me what the next steps were. I asked that they made him go to therapy. I knew that he likely did these things to me because he was violated the same way throughout his childhood. I knew he was a first time offender and jail was not likely so I wanted to make sure he was rehabilitated in SOME way.
He found the police report paper as soon as I got back (I'm sure someone who knew him saw the car parked at the police station after I went and told him). He ran from the officers for 10 days and then went in to talk to them and tell them that he did it because "it was his kink". They'd already filed charges and put out a warrant the day before, so they booked him 09/23/2019. He stayed there until March of 2020 when he was released on house arrest. This was when quarantine began.
The courts were closed until 2022 and then they continued. Lots of stalling over these years from his lawyer. Even a no call no show from his lawyer. They offered him a couple f reasonable plea deals. He came back with one for misdemeanor assault. We said no. I did not want it to look like this was not a sex crime. That was really important to me. No deal was reached. They marched on to trial. It was set for earlier this year. In the weeks leading up to trial, things were looking shaky. I was advised that cases like mine were extra hard because many people this men should be able to brutalize their wives. But I stuck it out. If I didn't fight for me, I knew I could not live with myself. No matter the result. About ... source
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Florida Republicans pass bill to remove trans kids from parent's custody, even those living out of state
www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/florida-republicans-trans-kids-parents-bill-b2323714.html?utm_source=reddit.com source
www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/florida-republicans-trans-kids-parents-bill-b2323714.html?utm_source=reddit.com source
The Independent
Outrage as Florida Republicans pass ‘fascist’ bill to remove trans kids from parents
‘These bills directly threaten transgender Floridians’ fundamental human rights and safety,’ an ACLU official says
Reminder to not have sex with conservative men. They hate you.
Second time making this post but it's worth repeating.
www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/12u8usv/reminder_to_not_have_sex_with_conservative_men/ source
Second time making this post but it's worth repeating.
www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/12u8usv/reminder_to_not_have_sex_with_conservative_men/ source
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You can now report a "transgender concern" on a Missouri government website. It would be a shame if it was filled to the brim with garbage submissions.
ago.mo.gov/file-a-complaint/transgender-center-concerns
FUCK you Missouri you garbage state.
UPDATE 4/21: this part of the website is now DOWN! Thank you all SO MUCH for showing up to support our Trans brothers and sisters ✊
SECOND UPDATE 4/21: here's a news post about it - www.riverfronttimes.com/stlouis/missouri-ags-office-removes-trans-report-line-after-twitter-spams-it/Slideshow/39906212/39906491
www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/12tivip/you_can_now_report_a_transgender_concern_on_a/ source
ago.mo.gov/file-a-complaint/transgender-center-concerns
FUCK you Missouri you garbage state.
UPDATE 4/21: this part of the website is now DOWN! Thank you all SO MUCH for showing up to support our Trans brothers and sisters ✊
SECOND UPDATE 4/21: here's a news post about it - www.riverfronttimes.com/stlouis/missouri-ags-office-removes-trans-report-line-after-twitter-spams-it/Slideshow/39906212/39906491
www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/12tivip/you_can_now_report_a_transgender_concern_on_a/ source
Riverfront Times
The Best Fake Submissions to Missouri AG's Trans 'Report Line'
Last month, Attorney General Andrew Bailey's office launched an online tip line for "victims or their parents" to submit concerns about Washington University Transgender Center's pediatric care unit. And Twitter had a field day.