my daily routine is very simple. i wake up and immediately want to stop existing

umm really in the mood to give my girl a blow job tbh

me to my body: yk i love u right?😊
my body: um well saying it isnt gonna do it u really have to show it...
me: u ungrateful bitch its like nth is ever good enough for u
my body: ...yeah thats what i thought.

when you share really personal shit about urself and its fine in the moment and u feel good but like 3 hours later youre like why did I say that?????? and your brain is literally flicking the lights on and off screaming welcome to hell!!! welcome to hell!!!

بین توییت های انگلیسی که همشون یا دارن بی ال امو مسخره می‌کنن یا الکی عکس جورج فلوید می‌ذارن کنارش، این از همه قابل درک تر و بهتر بوده. اینو ریتوییت کنین و سعی کنین اگه ویدیو رو می‌ذارید بنویسین trigger warning. برای ترند شدن به انگلیسی شما نیاز دارین که مخاطب انگلیسی زبانو درک کنین. نمی‌شه با دعوا از بقیه کمک خواست.

https://twitter.com/cuzarisayssooo/status/1319271936497598469?s=21

i dont get why my birb screams at me, do u want attention or do u want me to leave the house?

the crushing guilt of being unproductive vs the exhaustion of being burned out. fight.

*me trying to workout my abs*

my neck: hey hey dont worry i got this

Emily taking two steps onto the street:
a random French man climbing out of a window: I must have sex with you!
yeah i love this shit

it would've been so much better if Emily was bi everyone can agree on that, right?

i mean all the time i was like emily, please listen to mindy and go flirt with camille!!!