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I went to a job interview today and the interviewer asked me, “what is your greatest weakness?”

I said, "I am too honest.”

He said, "I don't think that's a weakness.”

“Well I don't give a fuck what you think!”

Ironically lazy people tend to accomplish things faster because they search for the easiest ways to do the things.

Butt dialing and booty calling

So similar. So different

If you have a problem and have to use RegEx to solve it, you now have two problems.

I JUST ORDERED A LIFE ALERT BRACELET SO IF I EVER GET A LIFE I WILL BE NOTIFIED IMMEDIATELY

What did router say to the doctor?

It hurts when IP.

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

I have a computer programming joke, but it bugs me.