I used to be a programmer for autocorrect.
They fried me for no raisin.

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Every machine can be a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough.
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Interviewer: What makes you a good fit for this position?
Candidate: I broke into your system and scheduled this interview myself.
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What do you call a lumberjack with a website? A b-logger.
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I'm not a computer, but you turn my software into a hardware.
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