I’m humble enough to know I’m replaceable at work. But confident enough to know it would take 3 to 4 people to cover the gap. 

https://weird-jokes.com/

Monday is like a software update. Nobody asked for it. 

#Monday #Jokes

Why did the candle quit his job?

He was burned out.

Never say 'I don't know'.
Say 'Let me check'.

Boss: We need you to be more of a team player.

Me: I am a team player.

Boss: You told the entire team to fuck off.

Me: And I included everyone. That's TEAMWORK.

95% of my workplace think I'm hilarious...

(the other 5% is HR).

🤓
https://weird-jokes.com/

I was told to describe myself I one word in a job interview.

I said, "bad at following simple instructions"

Interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in ten years?”

Me: “On your side of this table.”

Interviewer: “Ambitious.”

Me: “No, your chair looks more comfortable.”

A lot of people aren’t building personal brands.

They’re building fan clubs for a version of themselves that doesn’t exist.

🤓
https://weird-jokes.com/

I remember when artificial intelligence was just called mansplaining.

Work from home?

I don't even work from work.

🤓
https://weird-jokes.com/

Never argue with someone who uses 'research' as a synonym for scrolling.

If you increase your font size by 1 point every time you respond to someone in an email, eventually they'll stop emailing you. 

https://weird-jokes.com/

I tried to make my password "myunderwear"

Then I was informed that passwords must be changed regularly.

https://weird-jokes.com/

Interviewer: What's your best asset?
Me: I have an excellent memory
Interviewer: Give me an example?
Me: Of what?

It's not that I accept the Terms and Conditions.

It's just that I would rather not spend the rest of my life reading them.

Turns out humans are just prompt generators for AI.