Trying to impress a woman in a straight relationship: "Oh yes, I too have an orgasm denial kink"

Unrelated but I'm suspicious of people with a high body count
It's not the sleeping with plenty of people part I have a problem with, it's the keeping the count part.
After a while you really have to commit to remember exactly how many people you have been with, you have to like write it down to not lose count and WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT THAT'S CREEPY

Sorry Astarion, this is the videogame man women want 💅

(it's me I'm women)

Oh my God Becky, look at her butt
It is so big, she looks like
One of those rap guys' girlfriends
But, ya know, I understand those rap guys
They only talk to her, because
She looks like a total goddess, okay?
I mean, her butt, it's just so big
Uh, I can't believe it's just so round, it's like out there
I mean, uh, amazing, look

It will never not be funny to me how Lily Allen made a song that literally said my lil brother Alfie stays all the time in his room getting high and playing videogames jerking off and then the little Alfie ended up on Game of Thrones getting his dick cut off just to spite her