That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink. 

@wild_pps

Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday ❓❓😂

@wild_pps

What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light?
Don't look, I'm changing. 🤦🏽‍♂😂

@wild_pps

Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion.
Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion.
Anger: The emotion that puts your fist in motion.
Lesson: Don't be afraid or angry and you won't have to run and fight. 

@wild_pps

There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired.

Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing....

@wild_pps

Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text...

@wild_pps

Those who snore always fall asleep first...

#facts
@wild_pps

Be kind to people, and if that's too much to ask for then just be weird to people. It's the least you can do...

@wild_pps

You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar...

@wild_pps

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it.

#BernardBailey
@wild_pps

Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon...

Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap...

@wild_pps

Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge.

What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light?
🤦🏽‍♂ Don't look, I'm changing...

@wild_pps

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
😁 Where is the pop corn?

@wild_pps

Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up...

@wild_pps

When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me...

@wild_pps