Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon...

Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap...

@wild_pps

Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge.

What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light?
🤦🏽‍♂ Don't look, I'm changing...

@wild_pps

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
😁 Where is the pop corn?

@wild_pps

Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up...

@wild_pps

When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me...

@wild_pps

Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time...🤨🤨

@wild_pps

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.'

@wild_pps

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!

@wild_pps

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it...

@wild_pps

Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo...

@wild_pps

Natty:
How can you hurt someone with words?
Ans:
Hit them with a dictionary.

@wild_pps