i can send you an instagram reel about how to interact with cats and you can apply those strategies on me perfectly.

The absolute worst person you know thinks he's batman btw

never trust anyone
especially the weather app
fuck you, you bring my hopes up saying that it'll rain but it DOESN'T

How dare 'they', not having a pfp when I'm trying to stalk them

you guys will never guess the clique behavior i am currently partaking in

The first rule of tragedy is to be yourself. The second of rule of tragedy is to be literally anyone else. The third rule is that however much you try there is no escaping being yourself forever.

no more "in my humble opinion", from now on it's "from my grandiose and objectively correct deductions". Fuck your assumption Mr.

I heard the waitress telling the other waitress to kill herself and I think I'm gonna go to that cafe again

When you have free time on your hand, you realize that your thoughts are actually not your friend

new pickup line I've been trying: hi

Are half of all of Dostoyevsky's books just a drunk dude rambling?

No complain but I get that you're miserable but dude it's been 70 pages

What if kafka got himself a therapist?

I've got a lot of good ideas but not one that will get me through real life conditions

What if...

why do i look very confused, sad or upset in every picture I'm in

the devastating gap between the dead end of a hyperfixation and the beginning of a new one