the sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation

I belong to quick, futile moments of intense feelings.Not to people.

Me and Billie are a thing

Can you afford freedom?

‌ ‌‌‌ ‌
i wasn't gonna smoke today,
or three years ago, to be precisely honest;
but i walked past home and couldn't find my way back.
and they say i have the most sensitive pair of human bones
beating in my chest, but i thought it wasn't possible anymore
to make me feel sore in the core.
anyways, it sucks to stay grounded when you haven't even reached home.

and most of my friendships end under shadows of boys;
tiny little men holding the smallest of swords.
and it's hateful, hurtful to the pits of hell and more
to have something so beautiful replaced by nothing more
than a mediocre loser whose corpse is back on our shore
in year twenty thirty-four.

i'm less forgiving these days and i don't care enough to know why.
the door's open for departure, whenever anyone wants.
i will miss and i will piss off the neighbors crying alongside
the screaming bitemark unresolved
on the skin of our plastic walls.

i yell at the stable bees to leave the horse alone
'cause i've got a meeting with the pigs, around two thirty-four.
i do care what i lose, though i am desensitized to gore,
and if you think about killing me,
there's a pill for that on the floor.
i've got drugs and i've got money
enough to buy more
to celebrate the loss of something i once actually adored.

i will keep on writing letters, shutting the same damn doors.
oh, and by the way, love,
nothing you can think of
surprises me, anymore.
so, here you go.
it's all my youth and trust and even a little more.
i'm giving it all away, a garage sale on block thirty-four.
meet me there to pick up the pieces i'm bored
of. after all, you might be needing them more.

And you are full of dripping dreams, but I always like to water dreams until they spill and soak whatever they are standing on

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Mood:

real (I dont know what's real anymore)

do you think i can pull off a "can we still be friends?" with my therapist after we break up? No?

this coffee will fix me another coffee can fix me maybe next coffee will fix me. Breaks the mug*

reading dostoevsky is like:
" i'm literally a reflection of him "

I would definitely date someone for a cat

We have warped ourselves into many layers masking everything. Now we need to freak em out to make sure that part still exists

me teaching you about basic human concepts bc you’re lowkey ai

And i am a forest fire. I am the fire and I am the forest. and I am the bitch who’s recording it for 13 likes

realizing things you kinda had realized before but now you’re realizing it for real but you’re also realizing that you can’t do much with the new realization

Rec from anon