I can't bring myself to understand "violence"

Sometimes I despise it sometimes I'm drawn to it
Sometimes it seem unnecessary sometimes it seems deadly necessary

What I understand is that you can't avoid using it

Two tea cups one for me and the another is for me

I love this show lol

She's so me

My chest feels heavy when I think of what has been done to me

The traumatizing events
One by one

Such as the day i woke up and found my hair tied up into a rock like
No hair tufts
My long soft hair turned into a rock

In a moment of desperation around my family trying to fix my hair I grabbed the scissor and cut it down my ears
Looked at the mirror
Cried painfully
It looked ugly

But you know what

Immediately fell asleep after watching this movie
What a fucking twisted nightmare that I just had

I'm literally sweating

Me reading about myself for the billionth time

I'm the only thing I'm still interested about

I'm tired