I cannot forgive myself. Irl, everything I do appears to be a good deed, and yet I do not understand why. My thoughts are corrupted, my desires obscure and shameful, still, whenever I act, what emerges is only goodness.

I harbor violent urges. I imagine dominating the weak, violating a girl for pleasure, acting selfishly, surrendering to impulses I refuse to name without disgust. And yet, when the moment of action arrives, I do the opposite... I help others. I go to church. I confess. I sit with the elderly and listen. I treat women with gentleness and restraint.

All of it feels profoundly false. They look at me and see a good person, while inside I am consumed by the certainty that I am a fraud, someone performing virtue while desiring its negation. What repulses me most is not the darkness of my thoughts, but the fact that my actions betray them so completely.

microsoft should change their name to bigsoft, or bloatedsoft.

THERE'S NOTHING MICRO ABOUT THEIR SOFT!

>tried downloading visual studio for an uni project
>9gb

get the fuck out of here.

I tried Gua Sha today after waking up — I even bought tools for it. It surely works, it’s not a hoax, but I don’t think I will do it again… I felt like this after doing that…

and it also makes my skincare routine way more complicated... I'm a man, for God's sake... I can't stay more than 20min doing skincare routine.

I keep it simple, I don't strive for those "korean skin" stuff. I just use: balm cleanser, milk toner and moisturizer... and for me that's enough.

when life gives you lemons

2:00 this is my mood rn

Dude, these people are insane… They threw a party yesterday that went on until 1 am, it was socially exhausting, and today, at 6 am, they’re taking me to another city to… swim in a lake and walk around… I’m not that socially dude…

I BARELY SLEPT NIGGA

is this common? Normal people are like this? Damn…