I, EDUARDO, WELL KNOWN AS THE SWORD OF THE VATICAN, CHALLENGE ALL THESE "WITCHER" LARPERS TO CURSE ME WITH THEIR DEVIOUS TRICKS!

I don’t believe in any of this witchcraft nonsense from you disgusting pagans. If witchcraft actually worked, Africa wouldn’t be poor—your little jungle shamans would’ve cast some spells to make themselves rich by now! ONLY JESUS CHRIST CAN BRING MIRACLES TO THIS WORLD, YOU FOOLS!

first day living alone report:

I bought meat and chicken, but I forgot to buy olive oil or any oil to fry it… now I’m hungry and feeling hella dumb for it.

this is me if you even care...

Glasses gang—we wear glasses all day. We look intellectual despite being stupid, mature despite being childish, and serious despite being silly.

real talk: why do fat people even exist? I’m not even joking. Getting fat isn’t easy—you have to put in real effort to become obese. And I’m not even an ectomorph saying this; it’s just genuinely hard to get fat, no matter your body type.

genetics forcing americans to eat 10 whoppers and 5 gallons of pepsi as a breakfast

maybe you're right about old people, but even if you love eating, you really need to put some effort into it! you need to eat A LOT to really get fat

first day at this city's church, and the first thing the priest talks about is the Dalai Lama.