Watch "Taylor Swift - Willow - But it's John Mulaney saying, "That's my wife!"" on YouTube
https://youtu.be/CWWE1Pt_iEk

I feel like I should make one of these.

I'm not addicted to food. I used to eat a lot 2 years ago at the peak of my depression. I had a diet controlled by a doctor and I stopped that diet due to the horrible depression and anxiety I had. I used to eat when I was sad or felt useless and tbh school and my parents weren't helping. I'm not a smart person ( in the standards of the educational system ) and I can't live up to expectations. The ppl around me kept on hurting me bc I couldn't get good marks. I lost around 10 kg and then got em all back bc I stopped my healthy diet. Haven't checked my weight since February 2019 and that's bc I'm controlling my food and how I eat but I'm afraid that if I check my weight it'd be the same as or more than before.

I'm tired of clothes not fitting me and I'm tired of putting make up on and removing it immediately. I'm tired of having clothes in my closet but only wearing two of them 99% of times. One for spring and summer and the other during fall and winter.

I used to eat a lot of sugar but I stopped that and that makes me happy every time I think about it. I control the amount of carbs and proteins I consume. Been a bit restrict about the amount of meat I eat.

I started counting calories 3 months ago. The only difference I noticed was an old jeans of mine fitting me again. Yet the ppl around me said and still say that I haven't changed. Most of them don't say it but I know they think I'm lying about controlling how I eat. They keep repeating these sentences " stop eating! " , " you're always eating! " , " eat less! " . And I think to myself why do they say those things when I just told them I have 800 calories a day? How do they assume I'm constantly eating when in reality I'm not?

I don't eat snacks anymore and if I do I skip dinner. I count my fucking calories. I'm not able to exercise but I'm not in my bed all the time. Why do ppl and my friends assume I'm constantly eating when I'm not even the kind to send pictures of my food?

I don't know. I just feel like an ex drug addict who's been clean for several years but ppl think they're lying about being clean. I posted a photo of a cup of tea and my cousin told me to stop eating.

Sorry I bullshited y'all. Didn't mean to.

After 5 minutes of putting oil on my hair:

بابام واقعا ناراحتم میکنه.

دیکتاتور.

اینو از ۴:۳۲ ببینید:

https://youtu.be/w-AnVTahVGw

But babes it is propaganda! The way "gossip girl" makes you empathize with rich classist teens and hate the poor character, or when "Brooklyn 99" makes you think the police force is diverse and kind and goofy and could never commit racially charged crimes, and last but not least, how you watch seasons of "The Crown" so much that it all becomes a blur and you forget about how the queen's favorite son is Andrew and they show him be fun and caring and very good at flying so much that you start rooting for him and the fact that he was Jeffery Epstein's best friend and had week long trips to his rape islands frequently escapes your mind. I'm not saying don't watch these shows, or shaming you for liking it's characters. Just telling you to do not form your understanding of the world based on meticulously written scripts and million dollar productions.

بعد از سه ماه با هدف " وقت گذاشتن برای خودم " نیم ساعت رفتم یه کتاب فروشی که یه شمع و یه خودکار بخرم و به خودم قول دادم عکسم بگیرم.
یادم رفت. به همین سادگی. نمیدونم دفعه‌ی بعدی که فرصت بیرون رفتن گیر میارم کِی باشه ولی مطمئنم بازم یادم میره عکس بگیرم.

=))))))

وقتی کافه دی‌کف نداره، ۷ شب قهوه نخورید.