Home never felt like home. I'm proud that I don't get attached to it. It's something that I never really cared about. Maybe it's because I've never known what it feels like. I mean, you don't know what you've lost if you've never had it in the first place.

You know words hurt right?

At this point am tired of venting, it's the same problem but with different people, maybe I am the problem, where did I go wrong this time?, which buttons did I press?

My hair is the only thing I have control over. Braiding my hair helps me relax, it's like therapy for me. Whenever I feel down, I just brush and braid it. I'm proud that I can do it myself. Sometimes, my mood is determined by my hair.

It's like when you think you have time for everything, but you don't. Giving more effort or striving for more seems exhausting. Being stuck, no matter what you do, feels like being in the same cycle. But deep down, you know you have stopped running or walking. It's not even a cycle,it's just you standing at a place that seems like a cliff. You tell yourself that if you move, you're going to fall, so you stop. You just let every wind, rain, or sunshine hit you while you're standing there. You think you are safe now that you have everything under control, but no, you can't move. Your feet are already spreading their roots deep in. Now you can't move or go back or even fall. You're just there, watering your roots, sometimes in tears, sometimes with kind words because cutting them seems like a sin. You wish it could have been a cycle, something you know, something that could have been a spiral turn until you reached its peak.


#Saturdayshouldbeabused