This will always be my favorite.

Next time Hafsa says she hates her voice, can we stone her together, please?

Not dead.
But sleeps just like her aunty.

Cause nobody wants to see Marshal no more.

I just read it again ,and that was what popped up.

Have a great day peeps.

I did nothing the whole day.

Nothing.
Not a movie
A book
Nor a phone I just watched the time pass.
I just experienced retirement.

Imagine if I could draw.
I only have the passion for things.

I substack a day peeps

You don't yak on people’s yam.

Let me be vulnerable today.
On Monday I attended a funeral. A kid I grew up with died. It still shocks me especially because just the day before on Sunday, I found myself thinking a lot about death and even wrote about it here. I knew him. He lived in my grandma’s neighborhood. We went to the same school. The last time we really spent time together was when we watched Avengers: Endgame we were both sad about Tony Stark. After that we grew up. I changed schools. And from then on, we only nodded at each other in passing.
And now… he’s gone.
Whenever I’ve had a fight with my mom or felt angry at my dad, I used to wonder how they’d feel if I died. I thought about whether my absence would finally make them understand my pain. In some twisted way, I wanted them to feel that loss like it would be the ultimate revenge. I wanted to know what it would do to them.
But on Monday I saw it for real. I saw the kid’s parents. I saw his dad break down while saying his name, trying to give a eulogy through disbelief and grief. I saw his mom completely shattered. I saw how painful it really is to lose a child. I saw my own mom cry for him. She held my hand so tightly and kept mumbling that he was just a child She was scared
he was my age. She even said, Blen’s friend while crying.

That moment made me realize how selfish my thoughts had been. How wrong I was to even think about wishing that kind of pain on anyone especially my own parents. It hit me how evil it was to carry that resentment for so long, over things I barely remember now. Over things that might have even been for the better.
Until that funeral I never understood the weight of loss. I never saw it so closely. And now I can’t unsee it. I left the neighborhood but the grief still follows me. I keep thinking about him, and the strange thing is I can only picture him as a little kid. I can’t remember what he looked like recently. His face in my mind is stuck in our childhood and that’s terrifying.
I’ve been stuck this whole week, reflecting. I believe now I know God was trying to show me something through this. Trying to redirect me. I used to think my heart wasn’t that bad, but now I see how selfish and painful I could be. I thought my only dream was to get away, to be on my own where nothing is split or broken just mine. But I’m starting to understand now that my parents are people too. Flawed like me.
Trying like me. The thing with resentment is you only see your side.
Think I’ve started learning to stop being selfish. I’m realizing that independence isn’t just about space it’s about sympathy about carrying the people who shaped you even as you grow.
I don’t really know where this realization puts me. But I do know that this week changed me. It humbled me. It opened my eyes. And even though I wish it hadn’t come through the death of someone I knew, it did.
I was selfish. My thoughts my dreams, even my goals they were heavy with resentment. It would've never have come true.
I don’t even know exactly what I’m writing right now. I just needed to get it out. This week was hard. But maybe this fear, this sadness maybe it will help shape the person I’m becoming.
I’m scared. But I hope the fear helps make me human.

Apologies.
Scribed the soul out today
And it felt good.

Now lets clean the room and handle the thing on my head.