I've been trying to figure out a book our professor suggested, which seemed interesting at first. Now
all I want to do is cry.

Only started it because it had the word chemistry in it.

But now
WEGEBAAA!!

I love salads
Betammmmmmmmmm.
Specially the ones I make and noodle places make.

I was home alone for three days. All I ate were salads, sliced bread, and eggs. I can't wait for unsupervised me.

Swimming lessons
but yk for life?

“boa constrictor digesting an elephant”

I'm afraid I might answer this during my driver's license test.

Arranged marriage it is
Lmao.

I am hypersensitive to everything.

You never feel scared because, no matter how hard you try to be quiet, it always finds a way to scream in your ears. You become so familiar with it that you stop caring about the noise it creates in your life. Being careful never worked. So, you start to disrespect life itself, finding out that respect is never truly quiet. Even if it appears silent, it will never stop echoing.

If our emotions were jars, mine would be a thin glass one so thin it feels like it could evaporate at the slightest touch. It doesn’t take much a bit of warmth a ray of light, and suddenly it’s gone again. The glass isn’t just thin it’s cracked too. Everything I try to store inside leaks out. I don’t know how to hold anything in it all spills out all at once.

From a distance maybe you’d see the jar wrapped in plasters. I’d try to paint over it, decorate the outside to make it seem normal maybe even beautiful. I’d work hard to keep it looking clean, to hide the drips and fractures. It would shimmer just enough to pass. Presentable. Polished. Like something whole.

But despite how fragile it is there’s a strange weight to it. It can’t be lifted. I can’t move it can’t carry it. I’m stuck with it, watching it leak, doing everything I can to patch it up without shattering the whole thing.

And that leaves me wondering

How can something so empty still feel so heavy?


#Saturdayshouldbeabused

I tried not to abuse it with the same screams, but it had to come out somehow.

Ohh I miss you come here.

I want to run. I want to be fast and test my lungs again. I want to feel how I used to feel after a good run.

Actively tracking your life, to see if today was better than yesterday. Not some motivational rant coming up. But I honestly think you can use a channel for that. Not posting the highs or lows but the mundanity of life, when it possibly gets more exciting as you push yourself to do weirder yet more you things.

I never get why I get dragged to weddings or family events I hate it. I hate going to people’s places it’s suffocating. But what I noticed is that it’s the only place you can truly hear your mom or dad talk proudly of you how much they notice you, how much they think you are more than good enough. That’s the place you feel there is someone who shows you off, even when you think there isn’t anything to show off.
I felt a bit good about myself. I never truly noticed that I had things to be talked about to people. But I am the shit to them, even if the brain doesn’t think that. I saw I am the shit to her.
I hope I get to be more shittier too.

“They don't make a Hallmark section for that”

Honestly think taxi drivers have better taste than restaurant owners who open music.

Many of my daily plans are made in the bathroom,I go there to think.
I love it there.

Shower thoughts got nothing on poop thoughts.