The reason I can't watch anything sad is that I start crying the moment it gets a little sad.
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I lie to the people I dislike or feel neutral toward, feeding their fragile egos because that’s all they seem to have shallow confidence built on nothing. I listen as they offer advice, telling me how to do things I’ve already know and I nod along like it’s a new information. I let them insult me, describe their selfish actions, and I make it all so easy for them. I don’t hate them, but I’ve never learned to love them either. When they speak, it’s like watching someone act out a script they didn’t even write. Yet I play along pretending I care, boosting their egos.
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It’s strange really. My patience and indifference seem boundless for those who mean nothing to me. Strangers can insult or disrespect me, and I’ll let it slide, offering them more space than they deserve. I give them a free pass, even though their words sting and I’m not even sure why. Maybe it’s because I don’t care enough to fight back. Maybe their opinions are so unimportant that it’s easier to let them believe they have the upper hand.
But with those I love, it’s different. I crave their love, I *need* it. And when it feels like they’re withholding it or when they say or do something hurtful, it provokes something deep in me. Why do I feed people’s egos just to be liked? Why do I act this way subconsciously? It feels like I’m a “pick me” for disrespect and it makes me question whether it’s rooted in low self esteem, self hate, or something else entirely.
But with those I love, it’s different. I crave their love, I *need* it. And when it feels like they’re withholding it or when they say or do something hurtful, it provokes something deep in me. Why do I feed people’s egos just to be liked? Why do I act this way subconsciously? It feels like I’m a “pick me” for disrespect and it makes me question whether it’s rooted in low self esteem, self hate, or something else entirely.
Forwarded from Scattered skull.
I can't get the phrase "victim mentality" out of my head. I keep trying to be optimistic because I think I have that mentality in me, and I want to prove it wrong.
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As long as you love the right things, you won't become the wrong things. You don’t love pain, so you won’t become it. Don’t worry,you won’t turn out like them.
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dubito ergo cogito, ergo sum. ‘I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am’.
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Forwarded from Wilderness Of The Soul
"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."
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I want our phone calls to be peaceful, not filled with insults, threats, or hatred. I just want him to know that no matter what, I’ll always be his safe place, as he is mine.
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Scribe your soul out pinned «I want our phone calls to be peaceful, not filled with insults, threats, or hatred. I just want him to know that no matter what, I’ll always be his safe place, as he is mine.»