Bullshit It's not fear, I tell you. You don't get scared of the idea of something. You don't flinch at a thought, you just feel its weight pressing down on you. I crave it, that thing just beyond reach, but I tell myself I'm scared. I know I'll never have it. A lie meant to comfort, to keep myself from the ache of dreaming too much for what I can't touch.

But they say never lie to your own diary. It's the only place you should be honest, even if that honesty cuts deeper than any deception you tell the world.

stare into my eyes until you see the reflection of you properly

East West, Eleni is the best.😂😭

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I’ve come to realize that my heart hasn’t hardened the way I once thought it should. And then I understood ,it was never mine to turn cold. All the kindness within me, all the love I’m able to give, is because of God. The credit belongs to Him.

Someday, you’ll wake up and realize that the burden you’ve been carrying wasn’t the guilt of not choosing someone else it was the need to choose between people in the first place. You were never meant to decide who deserved more of you or who should come first. The only choice that ever truly mattered was choosing yourself.

I think everyone faces this burden in some form. You choose your mother over your father in some conflict, or one friend over another, and guilt follows. You get caught in the crossfire of others chaos, making choices you were never prepared for. But as you grow, you start to see that those choices weren’t your fault they were set by the ones who created the chaos in the first place. Slowly, you learn to listen to your heart and choose yourself. You build a space where the need to choose no longer exists,a space where you can be whole, without splitting yourself to meet others’ needs. You try to create walls that can’t be divided, a life that doesn’t ask you to crack yourself for anyone. And in doing so, you find peace in just living where choice no longer defines your worth or your path.

"We now have futures we never intended to stay in."

Gormeseshal malete nww

Gotta find u a husband bekaa

Every single problem i have is doused with my insecurities and self hatred. If i could just love myself, i wouldn't have this or that. Or it would've atleast been easier to deal with it.if i loved myself i wouldn't be so worried about how everyone is annoyed of my presence, because i wouldn't think of myself like that.
This is good. You deserve this. You deserve to be happy. You are loved. I love you. I'd say that to myself. But there was always a faint feeling of disgust that reminded me how horribly selfish i am. Because why would a person like me ever deserve to be loved when i am the person i am? Every time i try to find a solution to my emotional problems, it all comes down to learning to love myself. How am i even supposed to even accomplish that? The view i have of myself is extremely murky. It's distorted and I'm aware it's not who i actually am.

"you're not to blame so don't blame yourself"

The number of times I give myself the ick is unreal.hmm🫠

If you’ve never seen me embarrass myself, then you don’t really know me.

There's this weird paradox of self-love: when you encounter someone else that has the same struggles, you might find yourself questioning how they could possibly not like who they are,

You even find yourself telling them they re beautiful and amazing, and it feels like you're speaking the truth for them as much as you could have for yourself. In those moments, it's as if you're trying to convince their self-doubt about their inherent worth, even while struggling to see it in yourself.

Pc

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መብቴ ነው !!

I wish I had taken every part of her from him. I wish I could have taken every memory, every letter, and given them back to her. But I can’t. I can’t.