Constant sighs are worse than a scream.

So I don't usually promote stuff here because well I don't want to.
but my little sister is starting something and this is my way of getting a discount so please check it out.
https://t.me/Ethio_USA_Store

I just slept 2 hours in a room full of strangers and I am letting that sink in.

Mtsm
just when I started enjoying hopecore.

Both.

So this week I tried to keep it all in because everyone was under pressure, and I understand that what they did was just them being scared. I stepped far outside of my comfort zone, heard things I should never have heard, and tolerated things I normally wouldn't. All I did was pray, then shut them out whenever they said something offensive. I held it in.

If you know me, you'd know how intense I am ,my emotions react fast. I get excited too quickly, and I also get sad or mad too fast. But surprisingly, I was calm this time. I was dealing with other things, but I wasn't scared. I knew everything would be fine, and if not, I just prayed. To get the heart to handle anything that came my way.

Today, my prayers were answered እግዚአብሔር ይመስገን !! and everything turned out fine. But after all that strength, I had my first breakdown today a big one. It was because of a "joke" at least that’s what they called it but it felt real. I felt incredibly weak. I was mad at myself but then I started thinking about where this feeling was coming from. The "joke" was hurtful it made me feel alone i had to call someone close to calm down and I didn’t see any humor in it. I was really trying to stay strong. And kinda failed but I didn’t respond I just felt it with myself the emotions was mine I didn’t say anything bad that I was proud of my point is the calmness was still there I did had a breakdown I didn’t affect the one who caused it I felt it and know am good.

I'm grateful. I'm proud of how much I’m maturing. I can feel myself becoming the woman I've dreamed of being calm, and full of faith in my God. I know this is just the beginning, but I should appreciate this start. All these emotions are part of the journey and I shouldn't be mad at myself when I cry or get emotional. I'm not taking God’s work for granted, and I’m not romanticizing it, but I am proud of myself for staying calm amidst the chaos.

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Moreeeeee yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy
እግዚአብሔር ይመስገን !!

I just received a present, and I didn’t know how to react. I think I panicked a bit I’m pretty sure I said thank you and no at the same time, too much and in the same voice. I don’t know why, but I hate receiving things. I get too excited too emotional. I think I got scared because it was from a friend I hadn’t seen in two years. I felt really loved but after realizing it was for me, I stopped thinking it all felt like a dream or something because it was a surprise.

Ohhhh don’t get me started on how dumb I am with surprises I am really slow I’m a great planner but you could surprise me in seconds. My friends know I’m the easiest to fool I once thought a surprise was for someone else and I was helping not to ruin it only for them to tell me twice that it was actually for me. Now that I think about it there were obvious signs that my slow ass just didn’t notice.

you see life deals you plenty of cards and at times you'd want the moment to cease you'd want everything to stay the way it is yet that isn't a luxury we can afford but understand that failure isn't failure until you take it as such. you see you could fall so low and everyone around you could make you feel worse but yet understand that many have come and many have gone and many will come after your life is simply one to be lived in the way you desire strive not for yourself alone but rather for everything you've been through and everything you carry.

The fruits of tomorrow lay in your hands you can either plant them and nourish them until they grow or you could hand the seeds to others and teach them how to grow you see being alone teaches you much about yourself yet being with others teaches you much about the world you live in.

you worry often and you let the worry grip you up holding you constantly Whatever you can't control think less about it you see you have much in your hands do whatever you can to change what you desire and well pray for the best and if it doesn't go your way why stop?

we fall slowly in despair at times with no one around understanding our suffering we throw smiles and lovely things at others hoping they never fall into the same dark hole you exist in. yet understand that everything is what you perceive and even in the worst conditions you can blossom if you seek it.