Feedback is the fastest way to grow in any area of life—but most people have no idea how to ask for it.
When I was younger, my “strategy” was asking friends, “It’s good, right?” (this wasn't very helpful).
Adam Grant nails it here:
Instead of asking, “What do you think?”—which invites ambiguity—ask for a score from 0-10. You’ll rarely get a perfect 10, which makes it easy to follow up with, “What would make this closer to a 10?”
Better questions lead to better feedback—and faster growth.
- Colby
When I was younger, my “strategy” was asking friends, “It’s good, right?” (this wasn't very helpful).
Adam Grant nails it here:
Instead of asking, “What do you think?”—which invites ambiguity—ask for a score from 0-10. You’ll rarely get a perfect 10, which makes it easy to follow up with, “What would make this closer to a 10?”
Better questions lead to better feedback—and faster growth.
- Colby
❤4💯1
As performance review season rolls around, I see a spike in anxiety and/or mild depression for some of my high achieving coaching clients.
It is likely for high achievers' emotions to fluctuate with their performance when they tightly link their self-worth to work.
This inevitably leads to many unhealthy behaviors such binging of a certain activity that leaves them even more drained or feeling even lower after the short-term high.
Here are some of my perspectives ("harsh truths") I shared during our sessions:
1️⃣ Work with reality:
Promotions are unfortunately not given solely due to competence. Other factors such as business needs, your political capital / reputation, your boss's political capital also play a role.
I also know of companies who give lower ratings so they don't have to give out as much bonuses to protect their bottom line.
It is not fair or right but the sooner we accept reality for what it is instead of avoiding or denying it, the sooner we can get to deciding what we want to do about it.
Outcomes that are not in your control do not have to impact your own self worth or negate your efforts over the past year unless you allow it to.
✨️ Question: What are you making the review outcome mean about yourself?
2️⃣ Design your own life metrics:
It is easy to link your self-worth or emotions to work because its more measurable. Much accountability is already built in through perf reviews, weekly meetings, project check-ins etc.
It is much harder zooming out and doing the hard work of crafting your own success metrics in other areas of life that are also important to you like relationships or growth or health which is why most people don't do it. But you don't have to be "most people".
✨️ Question: Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life. What can you front-load for an easier (i.e 'lesser regrets life') down the road?
3️⃣ Create resiliency in your systems:
Like in investments where it is more prudent to have a diversified portfolio, I also always advise my clients to invest in different aspects of themselves vs tagging their whole identity to work.
That helps with building emotional capacity and resilience when certain shocks affect one part of our lives. All areas are connected and integral to our sustainable performance and well-being. I also believe that your quality of life is only as strong as your weakest link.
✨️ Question: What areas of your life have you been over- or under-indexing in and how would you like that to change?
Instead of us trying to control the things that we can't, we empower ourselves more when we actually focus on the things we have 100% control over which are essentially ourselves. I hope this helps whoever that needs to hear this :)
It is likely for high achievers' emotions to fluctuate with their performance when they tightly link their self-worth to work.
This inevitably leads to many unhealthy behaviors such binging of a certain activity that leaves them even more drained or feeling even lower after the short-term high.
Here are some of my perspectives ("harsh truths") I shared during our sessions:
1️⃣ Work with reality:
Promotions are unfortunately not given solely due to competence. Other factors such as business needs, your political capital / reputation, your boss's political capital also play a role.
I also know of companies who give lower ratings so they don't have to give out as much bonuses to protect their bottom line.
It is not fair or right but the sooner we accept reality for what it is instead of avoiding or denying it, the sooner we can get to deciding what we want to do about it.
Outcomes that are not in your control do not have to impact your own self worth or negate your efforts over the past year unless you allow it to.
✨️ Question: What are you making the review outcome mean about yourself?
2️⃣ Design your own life metrics:
It is easy to link your self-worth or emotions to work because its more measurable. Much accountability is already built in through perf reviews, weekly meetings, project check-ins etc.
It is much harder zooming out and doing the hard work of crafting your own success metrics in other areas of life that are also important to you like relationships or growth or health which is why most people don't do it. But you don't have to be "most people".
✨️ Question: Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life. What can you front-load for an easier (i.e 'lesser regrets life') down the road?
3️⃣ Create resiliency in your systems:
Like in investments where it is more prudent to have a diversified portfolio, I also always advise my clients to invest in different aspects of themselves vs tagging their whole identity to work.
That helps with building emotional capacity and resilience when certain shocks affect one part of our lives. All areas are connected and integral to our sustainable performance and well-being. I also believe that your quality of life is only as strong as your weakest link.
✨️ Question: What areas of your life have you been over- or under-indexing in and how would you like that to change?
Instead of us trying to control the things that we can't, we empower ourselves more when we actually focus on the things we have 100% control over which are essentially ourselves. I hope this helps whoever that needs to hear this :)
❤4
Sharing this interesting take on different tech firms by Nikyhal that I saw on LinkedIn (link here).
Having been in both big tech (Google) and small tech (early stage start up) in my journey so far, I must say that I actually thoroughly enjoyed both experiences + also felt that I could also do well in either (huge contribution from some other factors as well like my interest in the company's mission / solution, being privileged to have good managers and teams).
In my opinion, the key here is figuring out what is good for YOU that links to your longer term goals, your energizers, your values etc.
And it's always a work in progress to understand ourselves, iterate and evolve as well 💪
If you are interested in learning more about yourself and how that links to future jobs, I have an upcoming session called "Intro to Intentional Living".
✨ More info here: https://forms.gle/41ZEHtDWDzg9aDzR9
Having been in both big tech (Google) and small tech (early stage start up) in my journey so far, I must say that I actually thoroughly enjoyed both experiences + also felt that I could also do well in either (huge contribution from some other factors as well like my interest in the company's mission / solution, being privileged to have good managers and teams).
In my opinion, the key here is figuring out what is good for YOU that links to your longer term goals, your energizers, your values etc.
And it's always a work in progress to understand ourselves, iterate and evolve as well 💪
If you are interested in learning more about yourself and how that links to future jobs, I have an upcoming session called "Intro to Intentional Living".
✨ More info here: https://forms.gle/41ZEHtDWDzg9aDzR9
❤4
Sharing a post by Frank who was one of our Neverdrift speakers last year!
A key challenge many people face is linking their identity and self worth to their work.
That included me.
I realized that was the cause of me feeling burnt out which also led to other implications such as poorer and physical mental health, little time for the relationships that mattered to me etc.
After addressing it with my coach, I was able to de-link my self worth from my job and design a much more inspirational and thriving life for myself ✨
Most of my clients are highly motivated people in their 30s who have checked off the boxes of what society told them success is. Yet they still feel deeply unfulfilled, lost, confused.
They have a lot of drive but they don't know where/what/how to apply it to.
💡That's exactly what my programs are designed to address. If you are interested to find out more, you can check out this link :)
https://forms.gle/TYDhWTBTJnJDnYaq8
A key challenge many people face is linking their identity and self worth to their work.
That included me.
I realized that was the cause of me feeling burnt out which also led to other implications such as poorer and physical mental health, little time for the relationships that mattered to me etc.
After addressing it with my coach, I was able to de-link my self worth from my job and design a much more inspirational and thriving life for myself ✨
Most of my clients are highly motivated people in their 30s who have checked off the boxes of what society told them success is. Yet they still feel deeply unfulfilled, lost, confused.
They have a lot of drive but they don't know where/what/how to apply it to.
💡That's exactly what my programs are designed to address. If you are interested to find out more, you can check out this link :)
https://forms.gle/TYDhWTBTJnJDnYaq8
❤2
Quite a few of my clients ask me about which career path they should take.
I think it's apt that Ali Abdaal shared that these 2 books: 1. Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans and 2. The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss.
He shared that it influenced his journey from Doctor -> Author/Youtube Creator.
It actually also influenced mine from Consulting -> CEO's office at a start up -> Big Tech Sales -> Entrepreneur.
The main concept I share with my clients (as Ali did with his followers) is minimum viable experiments.
Sharing Ali's excerpt here -
“I don’t like my job. What should I do? What steps should I take?”
If we run with this experimentation idea, the next steps would be to think of what you might enjoy, then run a minimum viable experiment to test it out.
For example, if you think you might want to be a doctor but you’re not entirely sure, a poor life choice would be to apply to medical school, spend 6+ years in training, and then learn that you don’t like it.
There are other lower-stakes way to test out the same hypothesis:
> Shadow a doctor for a weekend
> Do some medical work experience
> Speak to other doctors about their experience
> Chill at a hospital cafeteria, sit at a table with doctors, and ask them questions
These tiny experiments that would test your hypotheses way quicker and give you a lot more data points compared to applying to a medical school.
So in case you’re thinking of trying something new, find the minimum viable experiment that could test out your hypothesis.
Instead of allowing the major career decision to overwhelm you, I always encourage my clients to take a hypothesis-driven approach and gather data first in other ways.
It makes things less scary, reduces risk and allows you to make more intentional career decisions. Hope that helps :) 💪
I think it's apt that Ali Abdaal shared that these 2 books: 1. Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans and 2. The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss.
He shared that it influenced his journey from Doctor -> Author/Youtube Creator.
It actually also influenced mine from Consulting -> CEO's office at a start up -> Big Tech Sales -> Entrepreneur.
The main concept I share with my clients (as Ali did with his followers) is minimum viable experiments.
Sharing Ali's excerpt here -
“I don’t like my job. What should I do? What steps should I take?”
If we run with this experimentation idea, the next steps would be to think of what you might enjoy, then run a minimum viable experiment to test it out.
For example, if you think you might want to be a doctor but you’re not entirely sure, a poor life choice would be to apply to medical school, spend 6+ years in training, and then learn that you don’t like it.
There are other lower-stakes way to test out the same hypothesis:
> Shadow a doctor for a weekend
> Do some medical work experience
> Speak to other doctors about their experience
> Chill at a hospital cafeteria, sit at a table with doctors, and ask them questions
These tiny experiments that would test your hypotheses way quicker and give you a lot more data points compared to applying to a medical school.
So in case you’re thinking of trying something new, find the minimum viable experiment that could test out your hypothesis.
Instead of allowing the major career decision to overwhelm you, I always encourage my clients to take a hypothesis-driven approach and gather data first in other ways.
It makes things less scary, reduces risk and allows you to make more intentional career decisions. Hope that helps :) 💪
❤5
I heard this quote from Alex Hormozi and really resonated with it -
"Skills are the best hedge against inflation".
I do believe that focusing on improving earning potential is by far the most needle-moving factor for financial security and freedom 💯
"Skills are the best hedge against inflation".
I do believe that focusing on improving earning potential is by far the most needle-moving factor for financial security and freedom 💯
🔥2❤1
Super proud!!! ✨💯🔥
This reminds me of a simple PIE framework to consider during promotion season from Harvey Coleman.
I personally find this very helpful and it has helped me secure faster promotions within the companies I have worked in i.e MNCs like Big Tech and smaller companies like start ups -
1) Performance (10%): This is about the day-to-day work you’re tasked with and the quality of the results you deliver.
2) Image (30%) : This is what other people think of you. Your personal brand. Do you maintain a positive attitude? Do you lead with solutions to issues, or are you the person that solely offers roadblocks when others suggest changes or alternatives?
3) Exposure (60%): Who knows about you and what you do? Does your boss know what you do? Does their boss know you and what you do? Do others inside and outside your organization know anything about you?
💡 I think a lot of people think that 1) is sufficient. Putting in more thought on 2/3) could help 1) with more mileage!
This reminds me of a simple PIE framework to consider during promotion season from Harvey Coleman.
I personally find this very helpful and it has helped me secure faster promotions within the companies I have worked in i.e MNCs like Big Tech and smaller companies like start ups -
1) Performance (10%): This is about the day-to-day work you’re tasked with and the quality of the results you deliver.
2) Image (30%) : This is what other people think of you. Your personal brand. Do you maintain a positive attitude? Do you lead with solutions to issues, or are you the person that solely offers roadblocks when others suggest changes or alternatives?
3) Exposure (60%): Who knows about you and what you do? Does your boss know what you do? Does their boss know you and what you do? Do others inside and outside your organization know anything about you?
💡 I think a lot of people think that 1) is sufficient. Putting in more thought on 2/3) could help 1) with more mileage!
❤9
Hard truths 🤣
Jokes aside - When people don't wanna face truths, they either (1) become very anxious and go into a rabbit hole of doing more and more (w diminishing returns) or (2) become avoidant and pretend it's not there.
My responses:
For 1) - being more measured and discerning on what truly moves the needle helps you save time and energy so you can basically stop saying you're too busy.
You're busy with things that have low ROI or don't actually matter when that energy and time can go into smth that you actually find more important or gives you joy.
For 2) - avoiding things doesn't make it go away. In fact, it causes a snowball effect which makes it even harder to deal with in future.
So stop stressing out your future self w bigger issues when they can be contained more easily now.
Jokes aside - When people don't wanna face truths, they either (1) become very anxious and go into a rabbit hole of doing more and more (w diminishing returns) or (2) become avoidant and pretend it's not there.
My responses:
For 1) - being more measured and discerning on what truly moves the needle helps you save time and energy so you can basically stop saying you're too busy.
You're busy with things that have low ROI or don't actually matter when that energy and time can go into smth that you actually find more important or gives you joy.
For 2) - avoiding things doesn't make it go away. In fact, it causes a snowball effect which makes it even harder to deal with in future.
So stop stressing out your future self w bigger issues when they can be contained more easily now.
😁3❤1
Performance evaluation can bring up a lot of stress.
But remember that what you think and feel about the outcome is 100% within your control.
Coincidentally, my coachee and I used our most recent session last Fri to prep for it, and we were able to reduce her anxious feelings and transmute it to something more calming and reassuring 🔥💪
Know that it is doable!! All the best for those who are having their chats soon :)
But remember that what you think and feel about the outcome is 100% within your control.
Coincidentally, my coachee and I used our most recent session last Fri to prep for it, and we were able to reduce her anxious feelings and transmute it to something more calming and reassuring 🔥💪
Know that it is doable!! All the best for those who are having their chats soon :)
❤3
Hard truths to remind everyone of during the performance eval season as emotions might run high -
Pyrrhic victory is defined as a victory won at such a steep cost to the victory that it feels like a defeat.
The victory damages the victor beyond repair.
He wins the battle but loses the war.
Some common examples of this at work:
🟥 You hit another quarterly profit target but miss another anniversary dinner.
🟥 You earn a record bonus but fail to make it to a single one of your child's sports games.
🟥 You say yes to every single work call but can't find time to re-connect with an old friend.
🟥 You stay in a job for the security but allow your higher-order purpose to wither and die.
🟥 You host five client dinners per week but can't walk up the stairs without feeling winded.
🟥 You never leave money on the table but won't think twice about leaving your peace of mind there.
If you march ahead, eyes fixed on the financial horizon, the Pyrrhic victory awaits.
- Sahil Bloom
Pyrrhic victory is defined as a victory won at such a steep cost to the victory that it feels like a defeat.
The victory damages the victor beyond repair.
He wins the battle but loses the war.
Some common examples of this at work:
🟥 You hit another quarterly profit target but miss another anniversary dinner.
🟥 You earn a record bonus but fail to make it to a single one of your child's sports games.
🟥 You say yes to every single work call but can't find time to re-connect with an old friend.
🟥 You stay in a job for the security but allow your higher-order purpose to wither and die.
🟥 You host five client dinners per week but can't walk up the stairs without feeling winded.
🟥 You never leave money on the table but won't think twice about leaving your peace of mind there.
If you march ahead, eyes fixed on the financial horizon, the Pyrrhic victory awaits.
- Sahil Bloom
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Recently one of my clients was asking me if she should go for this study program that helps her prepare for future VC opportunities. Sharing my response here to her here ^
My 3 main principles that underpin my response are to:
1) Start with the longer-term view of where you want to go
2) Figure out what tends to distract you from getting there
3) Think about where is best to allocate your resources (time / energy / money)
You are technically the CEO of your own life and by an extension, your career.
Focusing on gaining clarity on these 3 pillars are what I personally think is most important to steer your career in the direction that is more aligned to where you want to take it :)
My 3 main principles that underpin my response are to:
1) Start with the longer-term view of where you want to go
2) Figure out what tends to distract you from getting there
3) Think about where is best to allocate your resources (time / energy / money)
You are technically the CEO of your own life and by an extension, your career.
Focusing on gaining clarity on these 3 pillars are what I personally think is most important to steer your career in the direction that is more aligned to where you want to take it :)
❤10
I realized pivots I have made since my first role were largely based on this principle - just that I articulated it as "How can I make my next role include more of my energizers and less of my drainers" but essentially the same thing.
Steps I followed in a nutshell:
1) Articulating what my energizers and drainers are
2) Which includes being very honest with myself on what I am just not as good at and don't have a natural affinity/ inclination in
3) Reducing the power of people's opinions on my choices because its my life not theirs (And I am the one that is feeling the actions of my choices every day)
So far this strategy has worked out well for me in terms of both performance and well-being! I didn't want my best outcome to be a state where I am successful externally on societal terms but deeply unhappy internally.
I strongly believe that when you enjoy what you do, you naturally perform better (and can work harder more effortlessly) and in time, money as a by-product will come 💪
Steps I followed in a nutshell:
1) Articulating what my energizers and drainers are
2) Which includes being very honest with myself on what I am just not as good at and don't have a natural affinity/ inclination in
3) Reducing the power of people's opinions on my choices because its my life not theirs (And I am the one that is feeling the actions of my choices every day)
So far this strategy has worked out well for me in terms of both performance and well-being! I didn't want my best outcome to be a state where I am successful externally on societal terms but deeply unhappy internally.
I strongly believe that when you enjoy what you do, you naturally perform better (and can work harder more effortlessly) and in time, money as a by-product will come 💪
❤12
"Speaking up in high-stakes situations can be tough.
Here are ready-to-use scripts to help you navigate workplace politics smoothly:
🔹 When someone takes credit for your work:
❌ Don’t say: “That was my idea!”
✅ Instead, try: “I’m so glad this idea is gaining traction! When I first developed it, I was excited about the potential impact. Let’s discuss how we can build on its further.”
🔹 When you need to push back on a bad decision:
❌ Don’t say: “I don’t think this is the right approach.”
✅ Instead, try: “I see the benefits of this approach. Have we also considered [alternative option] to minimize risks?”
🔹 When you’re excluded from an important conversation:
❌ Don’t say: “Why wasn’t I invited to that meeting?”
✅ Instead, try: “I noticed that [X topic] was discussed. Since I’ve been working on this, I’d love to contribute insights next time. Would it be helpful if I shared key updates now?”
There are some hard-earned lessons we wish we had learned earlier in our careers—here’s what we’d tell our younger selves:
1️⃣ Avoiding politics doesn’t mean you’re neutral—it just means you’re invisible. If you’re not advocating for yourself, someone else is shaping the narrative.
2️⃣ Office politics aren’t just about getting ahead—they’re about ensuring your contributions are valued. If you don’t engage strategically, you risk being sidelined.
3️⃣ Building connections is not “extra”—it’s a force multiplier. The biggest career shifts often come from relationships, not just skills."
- Uma and Jingjin from The Elevate Group
Here are ready-to-use scripts to help you navigate workplace politics smoothly:
🔹 When someone takes credit for your work:
❌ Don’t say: “That was my idea!”
✅ Instead, try: “I’m so glad this idea is gaining traction! When I first developed it, I was excited about the potential impact. Let’s discuss how we can build on its further.”
🔹 When you need to push back on a bad decision:
❌ Don’t say: “I don’t think this is the right approach.”
✅ Instead, try: “I see the benefits of this approach. Have we also considered [alternative option] to minimize risks?”
🔹 When you’re excluded from an important conversation:
❌ Don’t say: “Why wasn’t I invited to that meeting?”
✅ Instead, try: “I noticed that [X topic] was discussed. Since I’ve been working on this, I’d love to contribute insights next time. Would it be helpful if I shared key updates now?”
There are some hard-earned lessons we wish we had learned earlier in our careers—here’s what we’d tell our younger selves:
1️⃣ Avoiding politics doesn’t mean you’re neutral—it just means you’re invisible. If you’re not advocating for yourself, someone else is shaping the narrative.
2️⃣ Office politics aren’t just about getting ahead—they’re about ensuring your contributions are valued. If you don’t engage strategically, you risk being sidelined.
3️⃣ Building connections is not “extra”—it’s a force multiplier. The biggest career shifts often come from relationships, not just skills."
- Uma and Jingjin from The Elevate Group
❤7🔥2👍1🙏1
We live in a world obsessed with quick wins.
People then get upset/ frustrated/ discouraged that they don't see any wins and give up.
In my opinion, these are the 4 foundational levers that truly matter -
1️⃣ Consistency of working on yourself and your skillsets so your growth does not plateau or stagnate.
2️⃣ The courage to define and walk away from ‘good enough' so that you can eventually get to 'great'.
3️⃣ Cultivating relationships that are authentic and not transactional i.e actually caring about the people you work with instead of seeing them as a resource.
4⃣ Investing in strategic impact areas which can compound over time and pay back dividends in future e.g your personal brand.
The results will then culminate into something more enduring.
Happy Friday all! ✨
People then get upset/ frustrated/ discouraged that they don't see any wins and give up.
In my opinion, these are the 4 foundational levers that truly matter -
1️⃣ Consistency of working on yourself and your skillsets so your growth does not plateau or stagnate.
2️⃣ The courage to define and walk away from ‘good enough' so that you can eventually get to 'great'.
3️⃣ Cultivating relationships that are authentic and not transactional i.e actually caring about the people you work with instead of seeing them as a resource.
4⃣ Investing in strategic impact areas which can compound over time and pay back dividends in future e.g your personal brand.
The results will then culminate into something more enduring.
Happy Friday all! ✨
❤3
Context: She was a mum who was doing well in her career but took a 2y break to be more present when her kid was born. I didn't know everyone before me told her to settle and that my words gave her some hope.
Awwww so happy to receive this msg today!! 🥹
I don't believe that people should settle or tolerate just for the sake of it and I am glad to empower more people to believe that they are much more than their past programming ❤️🔥🙌
Awwww so happy to receive this msg today!! 🥹
I don't believe that people should settle or tolerate just for the sake of it and I am glad to empower more people to believe that they are much more than their past programming ❤️🔥🙌
❤7
When you realize that interviewing does NOT have to feel so painful and draining.
It usually is if you let it mean something about you personally e.g when you attach the outcome to your self-worth.
But it is possible to feel calm and collected like my client here.
I am soooo proud of her because she used to be such an anxious wreck before just a couple of months back.
And the best part? You not only feel better, you actually perform much better in this optimal mind space 💯
Progress and wins after she worked on herself 🔥🙌🙆♀️
It usually is if you let it mean something about you personally e.g when you attach the outcome to your self-worth.
But it is possible to feel calm and collected like my client here.
I am soooo proud of her because she used to be such an anxious wreck before just a couple of months back.
And the best part? You not only feel better, you actually perform much better in this optimal mind space 💯
Progress and wins after she worked on herself 🔥🙌🙆♀️
❤7
This article sums up perfectly what I shared with some of my clients recently -
Strategic hard work > Hard work
We must first be more strategic about i) what levers we want to put MORE effort in and ii) also what we should do LESS of.
This not only helps us to ensure our hard work goes a longer way - it also helps us to differentiate ourselves from others and leverages the key skill of DISCERNMENT which is required in more senior positions.
Do check out the article :)
https://thewokesalaryman.substack.com/p/worked-hard-so-what
Strategic hard work > Hard work
We must first be more strategic about i) what levers we want to put MORE effort in and ii) also what we should do LESS of.
This not only helps us to ensure our hard work goes a longer way - it also helps us to differentiate ourselves from others and leverages the key skill of DISCERNMENT which is required in more senior positions.
Do check out the article :)
https://thewokesalaryman.substack.com/p/worked-hard-so-what
Substack
You worked hard. So what?
News flash: So do other people.
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