stop 😭🤣😭🤣 he's funny cmon

ab toh i will definitely make a thread of the brainrot characters i love someday just to see the reaction of people

i think one of the only things i’ll actually miss from here is the evening walks. the skyline looks so stupidly beautiful every single day and especially on the bad days. i might actually have gotten addicted to it by now because cmon who wouldn't?

so leaving for college tomorrow, and just thinking about it is making me sad. like i’ve been trying to figure out what exactly makes me so sad about going back and well it’s everything. mostly the people. i hate my college. like seriously HATE hate. it’s full of the most basic kind of people. and not even basic in a fun way. like genuinely shallow, no originality, no thoughts of their own. nothing that would make you want to actually want to know them. and i haven’t found a single person in that entire place who i actually like. not even one. and maybe the saddest part of all is that none of them even care about what we’re studying. there's literally zero passion or curiosity. not even basic interest in the course. not one good discussion, not one real conversation about ideas or books or literally anything worth talking about. in the beginning, i tried. because it was exciting. being in a new place, getting to study something i actually liked. i thought maybe there’d be people to talk to about it and share stuff with. but no.
well i have a small group of people i sometimes (almost the whole day) hang out with. and in the beginning, it felt fun. we did impulsive and crazy stuff. but now i’m over it. they’re so problematic. i’ve missed classes because of them and i regret it now. gotten pulled into drama i didn’t ask for. everyone’s lives are full of chaos. cheating and breakups and guys and guys and more guys and the most baseless talks and somehow i always end up listening to the whole saga because im scared to be alone.
one of them is sleeping with literally every other guy while being in a ldr and then justifying it to me. and i’m just sitting there, blinking. its not like i havent tried knocking some sense into her. but well you cant do anything if the other person doesnt gives 2 cents for your opinions. so i have just adopted the method of nodding and saying the things the other person would want to listen to. and they always talk about boys. like, constantly. boys, boys, boys. the guy they’re dating. the guy they want. the guy who cheated. the guy who said “hey” in the corridor. enough. your life cannot revolve around men this much. and even if it does, SHUT UP. i do not want to listen to any of it.
and that’s the circle i’m stuck in. and the worst part is, that’s it. that’s my environment. those are the people i’m surrounded by. and then there’s home.
which, let’s be honest, has never been perfect. the people here say the same old things, the same tired patterns. and yeah, it gets to me sometimes. or well, used to. but it’s been 19 years of this. and i guess it’s just become a habit now. i don’t even care anymore what they say. and honestly i do have alot of love for them because they do love me too somewhere. despite everything, its peaceful here. i feel happy most (if not all) of the time. the past 2 months literally flew by and i wish i could stay for a longer time but well, untill next time i guess.

i don’t usually rant like this. it always makes me feel like i’m over exaggerating, like i should just suck it up because everyone has problems and maybe mine aren’t even that deep.
and maybe that’s true. maybe i am being dramatic. but right now i’m just so sad cuz of leaving. and if i don’t say it out loud somewhere, i feel like i’ll explode.
so i’m saying it just so it’s not all sitting inside me. also maybe i can come back and read this

ts so tuff 🥀🥀

i want to be so disgustingly over educated on every topic there is. like if im having a conversation with someone, i want to know exactly what they are talking about, i want to know all the references and obscure facts. i want to be able to add something to the conversation.
right now im kinda obsessed with geography. like, researching about every country, their culture (which is a deep dive on its own and i love it), the politics of that country, different associations or island chains etc etc etc and its so fun.
so basically the goal is to say "oh i know that" in any random conversation about the most random things.

also im doing this on a very shaky ass bus and my screen is literally wobbling.