is saste and ache jeans just a myth?

i keep thinking sleep is the closest thing to escape that i have. when i sleep, time loosens its fingers and days stop demanding names from me. morning, evening, night, what are they, really, except different shades of the same fatigue? i wake up and it feels like i never fully arrived. the hours blur together like wet ink, each one staining the next until the page is unreadable. i exist in repetition. eat, lie down, read, scroll, think too much, sleep again. it is not living, but it is not absence either. it is being suspended and pinned in a place. i want to leave. i want to dissolve. i want to slip out of the role of a person who must do. must progress. must become. i am so tired of becoming. it feels like a threat now. there are days when i crave motion the way lungs crave air. i want to walk until my thoughts fall behind me, until my body remembers it is more than a container for restlessness. but the walls stay where they are. i read to feel occupied, but the words blur. i lie down to rest, but the rest turns heavy, and shameful. even sleep sometimes feels like another form of hiding. i imagine a me that is not expected to explain this tiredness. someone allowed to be silent without being questioned. someone whose stillness is not mistaken for laziness or failure. i don’t want to disappear because i hate living. i want to disappear because i am exhausted from holding myself together. i want a pause long enough for my thoughts to stop echoing. i want to wake up and feel like the day is distinct, like it has edges, like it wants me. and i hope that wanting to escape does not mean i am weak but only that i am overwhelmed.

bhai veer pahariya ⛰️ started the year as a meme and ended it as a meme. consistency.

yaar mujhe laga tha hair uncountable noun hota h? how did it turn countable?

imagine being loved by me (threat)

so jao [impersonating that one guy in your dms]

so, i read shadow and bone by leigh bardugo. 3.5 stars i suppose. will read the other two books in the trilogy and then think about it.

so this was the inspo okay?

and this is the end result okay?

maine chadar par nail paint bhi gira di
maine haath ka bhi bhang bhosda kar diya
maine nail paint bhi waste kar di

ITNI FUDDU KYU HU MAI

ab nailpaint remover bhi waste karungi

let's make moong dal ka halwa (i have never tried my hand at cooking btw)

doesn’t look appetizing. 3 stars

hated whatever chodbhangra i did today.

i hope it's not too late to improve?

2025 was the warm up. 2026 we ball.

2025 feels like yesterday.