all i wanted to do all day is cry endlessly.

they should invent a person for me and me only

almost five years clean from happiness

oh my god i never learn

i hate the person i have become

they should invent a day where i don’t wonder why

when someone asks me why i look tired, i don’t get offended. i'm like, thankyou for noticing my anguish.

i remember so much detail about people that i have to act dumb sometimes so i don’t freak them out

hating it rn

didn't sleep. was thinking bout the consequences of making the first move and now no first move it is.

will be a zombie in college today (but at least will get to see him 😛💪)

usko dekhte hi nonchalant final boss ban jati hu

i’ve decided that i’m done obsessing over this guy. it’s not cute or romantic anymore. it’s just exhausting. today while coming back from college, it finally hit me how badly this whole thing affects me. he prolly doesn’t even know i exist, and i’m never going to make the first move, so nothing is ever going to happen. i know this, but i still kept hoping yk. and honestly, it’s becoming harmful for me. i’ve been through this cycle before (liking someone, then getting obsessed, then crying over it) and i don’t want to repeat it again and again. i cried so much today because i realized i’m doing the same thing to myself. i like him alot, but from tomorrow onwards i’m not going out of my way just to catch a glimpse of him. no more looking for him in corridors, no more changing my route just to see him. i have better things to do, and honestly, i deserve better things to think about. i have so much work, so much to study, so many things to invest my time into. i’d rather give that time to myself than waste it on someone who doesn’t even know i’m there. and i'm going to cry alot more for him but now i will try my best not to.