i just want to die after today's performance because wtf?

this was the sketch we gifted each professor

the bookmarks for the professors

bhondu-core
somsom-core

the only good thing about today.

college is a humiliation ritual.

i love these secluded spots in the college that not many people know about. any minor inconvenience? just come here and hang out with yourself.

sometimes i feel like there’s something fundamentally wrong with the way i exist. i’ve never really seen people behave the way i do. pushing away anyone who tries to get close, even when all i want is to not feel alone. i don’t even have the words for why i do it. i just withdraw and seclude myself. and then i look back at the silence i’ve created and wonder why no one wants to stay. it’s a strange contradiction. i ache for someone to truly know me, yet when someone gets close, i lock every door inside myself. and so it loops, me, pushing them away, them, eventually giving up. i end up with no one i can freely call a friend. sometimes i sit alone and scold myself, “just go and talk to them, they’re not going to bite.” but i can’t. and when i finally do, it feels like i’m speaking on a whim, as if i’ve missed the window where connection was possible. and then there’s this feeling that people are never really interested in me anyway. they don’t want me in their circles, or maybe it’s me who doesn’t let myself belong. and when i do hang out with new people, it’s not relief i feel, but pressure. i keep thinking i need to entertain them, because otherwise i’m just boring. unless someone is already interested in the things i talk about, i feel like i have nothing to offer. in groups, i can disappear into the background, let others carry the silence. but if it’s just me and one other person, suddenly i don’t know what to say, where to look, what to do with my hands or my mouth or my eyes. the whole thing becomes unbearable, embarrassing, pathetic. i don’t know what the math is, but it’s not mathing. either way, the conclusion always seems to be the same. the problem is me. and i hate that. i hate thinking this way, i hate being this way. but most of all, i hate not knowing how to stop.

i'll just sit here all day.

my spot has a pretty good view tho.

the end goal is to build a life i dont need to escape from.

this obsession with fair skin is exhausting atp.

people actually tell their crushes they like them?????

haar gayi

so it took 2 days to unseriously serious genz people of nepal to bring down the government while throwing those cool fit. ok.

i love how this generation is so unserious and serious at the same time.

i like today.

got my topic for the drama paper too. even this topic is very interesting and i'm genuinely excited to present it.