Here is why people FAIL to take big opportunities even if their English is good

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How memory really works and why we remember things.

Yesterday I posted about "memory" is and how it's not the same as "memorizing" words & phrases in Russian.

And today I came across this video.

This is the fundamental concept that I use in my work too. We remember what we KNOW and FEEL. To remember someting, there needs to be an emotional connection with the information you want to remember. It must be REVELANT to you. It must MEAN something to you.

In a world where people are disconnected from their own emotions, where people reject their inner knowing and prefer to stick to the old ways of learning (just give me lists of words I should learn to speak freely), this concept is hard for people to understand.

You must live it. You must experience it.

You can disagree with me all day long about how memory works, but the fact remains a fact. People don't remember what they learned last year, even last week. They learned words, grammar rules, phrasal verbs and idioms for many years, with many teachers, and they still can't use them correctly in their speech.

Something is not working.

Until we admit that the old methods are not working, there's no room for new ways of learning skills. And spontaneous expression in a foreign language is a skill. It can't be measured like any hard skill. You can't get certified. But you can absolutely learn to BE it.

We have SEATs in the Wednesday Accent Group!

Apply to join the practice and transform the way you sound in English.

I am confident that these classes and the community support will help you make the desired leap. I've seen it work for myself and other members.

Sign up for 4 months of training, and you will HEAR dramatic changes - you WILL sound more natural and clear.

Apply now ➡ nataliatokar.me/accent

An updated article with all the right links

https://nataliatokar.me/blog/tpost/lgitvaa8h1-how-to-make-more-money-internationally-w

As per usual, online experts tell you the truth, but never the whole truth.

When someone says "Learn real English", they mean "The English that native speakers use to communicate with each other, and not the English that you learn from textbooks".

In fact, English is "real" both in textbooks and in the streets.

What's overlooked is that language is a "human system", and we use it to share our humanity with others. Everyone is too focused on language acquisition (such as learning more words ), and few devote their work to the actual usage of language in society, i.e. between humans, i.e. to connect with other humans.


A new article is coming out soon. Stay tuned.

“Look, part of the whole technique of disempowering people is to make sure that the real agents of change fall out of history, and are never recognized in the culture for what they are. So it's necessary to distort history and make it look as if Great Men did everything - that's part of how you teach people they can't do anything, they're helpless, they just have to wait for some Great Man to come along and do it for them.”


― Noam Chomsky, Understanding Power: The Indispensable Chomsky

WOMEN ONLY:

Tomorrow, we’re meeting with a bunch of international women to continue the practice of expressing the self and communicating our needs in a way that doesn’t harm the relationship.

Even when we’re angry,

Even when our needs have been perpetually unmet and we feel resentful,

Even when we act like we agree with whatever we’re expected to give in a relationship, but we actually don’t,

Even when we don’t say anything because we risk losing our job, authority, or relationship,

Even when we hate our boss,

….there is a way to speak from the heart and not engage in mental masturbation.

If there was a ready list of phrases you could learn, I’d give you that for free.

We are learning the art of cultivating the ability to connect with what you’re saying on every level: your body, your words, your silence, your energy - everything needs to communicate the same message rather than a bunch of conflicting messages.

We are made to believe that the world likes “good”women, and that good women are agreeable.

An agreeable woman will agree with everything you say, never connect with any of the words you say, and eventually, she’ll stab you in the back. She’ll do that to protect herself because protection was her unmet need in that relationship.

If you feel pressured to “agree” with something to fit in, if you feel like you need someone’s permission to say “No”, if you’re scared that your “No” will ruin the relationship, and you have no idea how to express the complexity of your emotional truth in a foreign language, I feel you!!!

Girl, I feel you ❤️

I designed this program to help women embody authentic expression in English and powerfully own their truth.

Women feel unsafe when they’re perpetually unheard and misunderstood, and this happens both at work and at home, both with colleagues and with friends.


To feel safer, we need to learn to say what’s real, rather than hide behind the words that we already know.

This practice will give you access not only to new words, but also new ways of connecting with your emotions and understanding them deeply in another language - not just mentally, but with your entire being.


Tomorrow, Oct 20 | 6pm CET

Duration: 2 hours

We will have an international group: Russian, American, and Mandarin speaking women will get together to practice authentic expression - in any language.

The language of the practice is English.

The price for one meeting - and it WILL change how you think about emotion - is $300.

To join regular practice led by Joni Christine is $555/mo. You can join us for one month or stay until the end of the program, which is April 2025.

You can listen to a fragment of the meeting with Joni here:

Apple Podcasts

Other platforms (choose yours)