- I don't care what others think! I'm going to do what I WANT anyway! I will stop expecting approval and finally do that thing that I want to do!
- That's right! Don't listen to anyone! Don't care about what others think or say.
So many similar conversations have taken place in the world over time, and so many people got themselves trapped.
Anyone who says that it's possible to NOT care about what other people think doesn't understand human nature or human biology. We are social species. We become conscious of ourselves only through interactions with other humans.
It's not possible to not care what other people (especially those who matter to us) think of us.
It's not going to work... if your plan is to have that be the prerequisite for finally doing what you want.
You are always going to care what others think. Humans are wired that way.
The question is - to what degree is it going to paralyze you?
- That's right! Don't listen to anyone! Don't care about what others think or say.
So many similar conversations have taken place in the world over time, and so many people got themselves trapped.
Anyone who says that it's possible to NOT care about what other people think doesn't understand human nature or human biology. We are social species. We become conscious of ourselves only through interactions with other humans.
It's not possible to not care what other people (especially those who matter to us) think of us.
It's not going to work... if your plan is to have that be the prerequisite for finally doing what you want.
You are always going to care what others think. Humans are wired that way.
The question is - to what degree is it going to paralyze you?
We're meeting in an hour. Grab your seat and join the conversation. It's free https://courses.nataliatokar.me/courses/webinar-practice-routine
Natalia Tokar
Strategies to create your practice routine to achieve native-like fluency. WEBINAR
A webinar for everyone who is interested in achieving native-like fluency in English
Building a deliberate practice routine to improve your English skills means committing to a certain behavior.
Many people are good at starting new routines. Very few are good at following through on their words and commitments with actions.
I see two main reasons why people sabotage their effort (consistent effort is required when you have made a commitment to acquire a new habit, i.e. change your existing norm):
1. People bite off more than they can chew. They plan more than they can handle. They are delusional about how much work it takes and how much time it actually takes them to accomplish what they think they have to accomplish on each given day.
Start small.
Your practice routine must bring joy.
Your results need to be measurable so that they can be improved.
Your new routine needs to be in alignment with your lifestyle. If it disrupts your lifestyle, you'll keep quitting.
2. People plan their new life as if tomorrow is going to be their best day ever. As if every next day is going to be their best day. The question I encourage you to ask yourself is "What am I ready to commit to even on my worst days?"
Consistency matters more than intensity when it comes to building new routines.
Every day feels different.
I choose to adapt my routine and make conscious decisions to keep my word and stick to behaviors that will make me a better person - even on bad days.
And yes, the way I choose to learn English and the way I practice new skills tells me a lot about who I am. My goal is to consciously work on developing myself and unlocking my potential. You don't have to meditate all day to become a better person. It's enough to start keeping your word to others and to yourself. It's enough to start being honest with yourself about where you are now and how much you can handle today.
Many people are good at starting new routines. Very few are good at following through on their words and commitments with actions.
I see two main reasons why people sabotage their effort (consistent effort is required when you have made a commitment to acquire a new habit, i.e. change your existing norm):
1. People bite off more than they can chew. They plan more than they can handle. They are delusional about how much work it takes and how much time it actually takes them to accomplish what they think they have to accomplish on each given day.
Start small.
Your practice routine must bring joy.
Your results need to be measurable so that they can be improved.
Your new routine needs to be in alignment with your lifestyle. If it disrupts your lifestyle, you'll keep quitting.
2. People plan their new life as if tomorrow is going to be their best day ever. As if every next day is going to be their best day. The question I encourage you to ask yourself is "What am I ready to commit to even on my worst days?"
Consistency matters more than intensity when it comes to building new routines.
Every day feels different.
I choose to adapt my routine and make conscious decisions to keep my word and stick to behaviors that will make me a better person - even on bad days.
And yes, the way I choose to learn English and the way I practice new skills tells me a lot about who I am. My goal is to consciously work on developing myself and unlocking my potential. You don't have to meditate all day to become a better person. It's enough to start keeping your word to others and to yourself. It's enough to start being honest with yourself about where you are now and how much you can handle today.
From our recent session with the Native-Like Fluency group. I think I need to do a whole episode on Creative Learning and how it is different from doing random stuff. We need to separate "ALL content" and "the content that I need", habits from clear instructions, generalizations from individual applications. Many people have many negative projections on the idea of "consistent deliberate work". They dissociate it from JOY.
And that's the work we're doing here - we're bringing these together, intergrating them, learning to own the concept of joy and the sense of our own progress. Many people think that JOY is something that just happens to them. Their base assumption is that only lucky moments bring joy. In fact, you can absolutely be in change and create joy in your life and in your learning routine. Discipline is the baby of joy that comes as a result of meaningful work. People want to do meaningful things. Yet, they find the idea of looking for meaning boring. They want to instantly know what adds meaning to their life, i.e. what they should be doing with their time. This is a path to stuckness because they are depriving themselves of the joy they will feel once they have found out.
And that's the work we're doing here - we're bringing these together, intergrating them, learning to own the concept of joy and the sense of our own progress. Many people think that JOY is something that just happens to them. Their base assumption is that only lucky moments bring joy. In fact, you can absolutely be in change and create joy in your life and in your learning routine. Discipline is the baby of joy that comes as a result of meaningful work. People want to do meaningful things. Yet, they find the idea of looking for meaning boring. They want to instantly know what adds meaning to their life, i.e. what they should be doing with their time. This is a path to stuckness because they are depriving themselves of the joy they will feel once they have found out.
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Check out example answers here https://www.instagram.com/p/CXi92jfMm8_/
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See strategies and examples answers here https://www.instagram.com/p/CXfv3bps8GK/
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Example answers for people who need to prepare a story about their leadership skills and achievements for a job interview.
Don't prepare only one story. Don't bet on one story. Have many.
Storytelling is a strategic tool in business communication. When you have practiced many different stories, you feel confident telling any of those. When you practice telling stories every day (i.e. you have a habit of editing your life experience and articulating your findings and takeaways in English), you will be ready for any job interview on any random day.
Spontaneity is also a skill.
It needs to become a habit first.
Before a habit can be improved, a habit needs to be established.
To feel if the example answers are helpful, read them out loud. https://www.instagram.com/p/CXnu3tvs6uy/
Don't prepare only one story. Don't bet on one story. Have many.
Storytelling is a strategic tool in business communication. When you have practiced many different stories, you feel confident telling any of those. When you practice telling stories every day (i.e. you have a habit of editing your life experience and articulating your findings and takeaways in English), you will be ready for any job interview on any random day.
Spontaneity is also a skill.
It needs to become a habit first.
Before a habit can be improved, a habit needs to be established.
To feel if the example answers are helpful, read them out loud. https://www.instagram.com/p/CXnu3tvs6uy/
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
People don't feel very confident today. They don't know what the future holds. The question suggests that you need to have definitive career plans for the next 5 years, but you don't have to. Many people willingly embrace change once a good opportunity arises, and that makes it difficult for them to give an honest answer. They think the question translates to "Are you ready to commit to working in our company for the next 5 years?", and they feel that their answer is going to disappoint the interviewers. But it's not entirely true.
Watch the example answer to see how you can be honest with your answer and tell the interviewers what they need to hear.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CXrRuheMtOc/
People don't feel very confident today. They don't know what the future holds. The question suggests that you need to have definitive career plans for the next 5 years, but you don't have to. Many people willingly embrace change once a good opportunity arises, and that makes it difficult for them to give an honest answer. They think the question translates to "Are you ready to commit to working in our company for the next 5 years?", and they feel that their answer is going to disappoint the interviewers. But it's not entirely true.
Watch the example answer to see how you can be honest with your answer and tell the interviewers what they need to hear.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CXrRuheMtOc/
This media is not supported in your browser
VIEW IN TELEGRAM
see example answers here https://www.instagram.com/p/CX4XTn3M7XJ/
Forwarded from Женщина, которая меняется.
Друзья, у меня для вас готово что-то невероятное и действенное!
Я запускаю новый формат SPRINTS, где мы в обозримые сроки работаем над конкретной целью. Я объясняла в посте ранее, что такой подход позволяет мне сфокусироваться на одной задаче - например, сделать серию постов про Job Interview и разобраться в некоторых тонкостях.
С 28.12 по 10.01 пройдет первый SPRINT - Let's Update your Resume in English for 2022.
Всего 4 сессии. Ниже ссылка с подробностями. Первая сессия 28.12 - открыта для всех, без оплаты. Вы сами можете принять решение, оставаться с нами и доделывать свое резюме или не в этот раз.
Записи не будет, если вы решили не продолжать.
Читайте подробности и до встречи!
Здесь давайте накидаем вопросы, пожелания для первой сессии🙂
Я дам структуру и массу примеров (включая мое резюме). Если у вас сложная профессия, если у вас нет опыта, если вы не видите свои достижения, если вы меняете род деятельности, если не знаете, как переделать шаблон hh под международный стандарт, приходите. Поверьте, не бывает невозможных резюме. Структура подходит всем, даже если у вас мало опыта (меньше 3 лет).
https://cutt.ly/SUgRQ6W
28.12 в 19:00 по Москве.
Я запускаю новый формат SPRINTS, где мы в обозримые сроки работаем над конкретной целью. Я объясняла в посте ранее, что такой подход позволяет мне сфокусироваться на одной задаче - например, сделать серию постов про Job Interview и разобраться в некоторых тонкостях.
С 28.12 по 10.01 пройдет первый SPRINT - Let's Update your Resume in English for 2022.
Всего 4 сессии. Ниже ссылка с подробностями. Первая сессия 28.12 - открыта для всех, без оплаты. Вы сами можете принять решение, оставаться с нами и доделывать свое резюме или не в этот раз.
Записи не будет, если вы решили не продолжать.
Читайте подробности и до встречи!
Здесь давайте накидаем вопросы, пожелания для первой сессии🙂
Я дам структуру и массу примеров (включая мое резюме). Если у вас сложная профессия, если у вас нет опыта, если вы не видите свои достижения, если вы меняете род деятельности, если не знаете, как переделать шаблон hh под международный стандарт, приходите. Поверьте, не бывает невозможных резюме. Структура подходит всем, даже если у вас мало опыта (меньше 3 лет).
https://cutt.ly/SUgRQ6W
28.12 в 19:00 по Москве.
Office
Fill | Let's update your RESUME in English for 2022. Professional and direct approach.
You will start wherever you are... and at the end of this SPRINT you will have a ready document that you can send to international companies. If you're ready to commit to a short-term challenge and do your part of the work, you'll have a master resume ready…
Relationship coaches tell women that it's in their power to boost a man's confidence.
Women are encouraged to support a man, to appreciate a man, to let him know that he's useful and needed in their life. You can only truly know a man when you see a confident version of him.
When a man gains confidence, it enhances all his qualities, both positive and negative. If a man genuinely wants to provide for a woman, once he feels confident to do so, he will do the best he can to provide containment for his woman. If a man secretly wants to have many women, as soon as he gains confidence, he will openly date many women because that will make him feel more powerful.
Women are being told to boost a man's confidence to improve their relationships, but they are not being told how to see what kind of man they're dealing with. If they can see the true nature of a man, they will also know what confidence will do to this man.
I work with a lot of men. Most of my premium clients are men.
I know that men LOVE it when you boost their confidence because they can become more of who they are. Whether we are conscious of it or not, we influence people around us and the way they feel, even though men need to place their confidence on things that can’t be taken away by others.
What I've learned is that a man needs to be seen, appreciated, and needed for what he actually is, not for what he is not.
A man doesn’t want to be needed for something that he does not excel at any more than the woman who is trying to boost his confidence.
A man needs to serve his purpose, and he needs to feel confident to do so.
Basically, my point is that many women lie when they try to encourage men around them. They praise them NOT for what these men are, but rather for what they need men to be.
And that creates conflict in relationships.
Women are encouraged to support a man, to appreciate a man, to let him know that he's useful and needed in their life. You can only truly know a man when you see a confident version of him.
When a man gains confidence, it enhances all his qualities, both positive and negative. If a man genuinely wants to provide for a woman, once he feels confident to do so, he will do the best he can to provide containment for his woman. If a man secretly wants to have many women, as soon as he gains confidence, he will openly date many women because that will make him feel more powerful.
Women are being told to boost a man's confidence to improve their relationships, but they are not being told how to see what kind of man they're dealing with. If they can see the true nature of a man, they will also know what confidence will do to this man.
I work with a lot of men. Most of my premium clients are men.
I know that men LOVE it when you boost their confidence because they can become more of who they are. Whether we are conscious of it or not, we influence people around us and the way they feel, even though men need to place their confidence on things that can’t be taken away by others.
What I've learned is that a man needs to be seen, appreciated, and needed for what he actually is, not for what he is not.
A man doesn’t want to be needed for something that he does not excel at any more than the woman who is trying to boost his confidence.
A man needs to serve his purpose, and he needs to feel confident to do so.
Basically, my point is that many women lie when they try to encourage men around them. They praise them NOT for what these men are, but rather for what they need men to be.
And that creates conflict in relationships.
You will find all 12 posts on JOB interview tips here https://www.instagram.com/nataliatokarr/guide/job-interview-in-english/17910480029270404/
Instagram
Natalia Tokar♡UpSkillMe on Instagram: “Job Interview In English. ”
Practical tips for people who are getting ready for a job interview in English.
Join Session 1 of the new SPRINT "Update your resume in English for 2022" on December 28, 2021. We meet at 19:00 Moscow time. https://forms.office.com/r/dyfn3Xvxs0
My goal is to show you that you can accomplish this task by yourself. Everyone can absolutely create their own Master Resume in English without having to hire a career expert. And when you are ready to hire a career expert, you will know how to choose the right one and what to expect from their work because you have already invested in this yourself. Join us on Dec 28, 2021. Everyone is welcome. It's free.
Session 1 is going to be about structure.
My goal is to show you that you can accomplish this task by yourself. Everyone can absolutely create their own Master Resume in English without having to hire a career expert. And when you are ready to hire a career expert, you will know how to choose the right one and what to expect from their work because you have already invested in this yourself. Join us on Dec 28, 2021. Everyone is welcome. It's free.
Session 1 is going to be about structure.
Office
Fill | Let's update your RESUME in English for 2022. Professional and direct approach.
You will start wherever you are... and at the end of this SPRINT you will have a ready document that you can send to international companies. If you're ready to commit to a short-term challenge and do your part of the work, you'll have a master resume ready…