okay no it's totally hormones fucking my mental state more than normal

which logically doesn't mean literally anything about handling this but also obviously means that i should just ignore everything forever because this is a skill issue and not an actual problem/hj

hormones don't make feelings invalid when it's other people. when it's me they should take me out and shoot me for being emotional

i should stop talking probably

i want to become pure energy instead of flesh sigh

i hate that i feel shitty and manipulative whenever i complain about being upset over any lack of social interactions but i also feel shitty whenever i don't say anything at all

can't fucking win with a personality disorder it's always some bullshit

and also now i simultaneously want to play with someone and don't want it anymore because i'm just gonna feel like i'm being pitied

and i don't want to do anything else either

in the end none of that matters because everyone is busy and i should just get over myself

now i also have a migraine for extra fucking misery

if social contact isn't an option they should at least lobotomize me

меня убивает что всякие ресурсы про пмдр пишут что оно длится неделю. ага, размечтались. две недели ужасов каждый месяц

not as intensely miserable as i was an hour ago but still upset

and still don't want to do anything

i have nothing i want to watch or read so i guess i'm going to starve to death

it is what it is

okay i remembered i have an unwatched sagan hawkes video