sometimes you're not even worried about privacy you just have like five different things going on and explaining them is way too long and complicated

not beating cat allegations bc why i spend like two weeks being "actually i don't want to talk to anyone ever in vc" and now suddenly i am evil and mad that i haven't vc-ed in a while. well the answer is probably hormones but maybe there's something more sinister afoot

okay actually the answer is probably me running out of supply and my alleged npd rearing its head again

uuuu maybe i am inherently evil and hateful and soulless and whatever.

okay no it's totally hormones fucking my mental state more than normal

which logically doesn't mean literally anything about handling this but also obviously means that i should just ignore everything forever because this is a skill issue and not an actual problem/hj

hormones don't make feelings invalid when it's other people. when it's me they should take me out and shoot me for being emotional

i should stop talking probably

i want to become pure energy instead of flesh sigh

i hate that i feel shitty and manipulative whenever i complain about being upset over any lack of social interactions but i also feel shitty whenever i don't say anything at all

can't fucking win with a personality disorder it's always some bullshit

and also now i simultaneously want to play with someone and don't want it anymore because i'm just gonna feel like i'm being pitied

and i don't want to do anything else either

in the end none of that matters because everyone is busy and i should just get over myself

now i also have a migraine for extra fucking misery

if social contact isn't an option they should at least lobotomize me