She always told me that I don't ever talk to her and.. I just don't fucking get it.

Maybe if you want to talk to me.. don't snap at me at the smallest fucking thing?

And, you know.. actually talk to me. I can't talk to you if there's nothing to discuss.

I have so much to say. I just can't put it into words.

And of course she's gonna try to guilt-trip me and say that she's responsible for this because she didn't cut my internet off earlier

Of course the internet is the culprit

Of course I don't need any of my friends

I don't even know what I'm going to do with the fact that I've hurt someone I have considered a close friend.

I hate the fact that I don't even care about even more. I know I should care about it.

I don't fucking know how to make the situation better. All of my attempts have been in vain and I feel like an egoistic twat because I always considered that she's perfectly happy with someone else and doesn't have any feelings toward me any longer

I don't fucking know how affection works.

I'm starting to question whether I've felt anything to begin with.

I mean.. Probably, if the breakup hit me that hard. But.. I don't fucking remember the feeling any longer.

This is kind of a personal topic and I already regret saying this in a public channel but I don't fucking know how or where to say it otherwise

I already regret most of the things I've done in my life, so whatever

I want to sleep so badly but my head is just a mess

I'm trying to tell what the fuck I even want to write but it's just incoherent screaming

And I'm probably over my sarcastic self-loathing quota for today anyway

So I guess I'm just gonna funnel my thoughts into /dev/null. See you at whatever I can consider "tomorrow".

Who needs caffeine when you have anxiety?