Talking does not work, it just stresses me out even further because I get met with constant criticism about things that are true but completely irrelevant

She never fucking apologized. For anything. She's so fucking cold and I can tell that she's just disappointed

(The above is mostly about my mom)

I'm so fucking tired. I just want to rest. I can't fucking do this any longer.

She's not going to fucking help me do things around the house purely out of spite. She said it herself. And every time I don't make my bed or wash all the dishes I get the same condescending tone

And then she fucking wonders why I don't want to go anywhere with her.

I want to stay home. I don't want to interact with people.

I don't fucking know what to do. Everything I attempt to do or say makes it even worse

Why even fucking bother at that point

She always told me that I don't ever talk to her and.. I just don't fucking get it.

Maybe if you want to talk to me.. don't snap at me at the smallest fucking thing?

And, you know.. actually talk to me. I can't talk to you if there's nothing to discuss.

I have so much to say. I just can't put it into words.

And of course she's gonna try to guilt-trip me and say that she's responsible for this because she didn't cut my internet off earlier

Of course the internet is the culprit

Of course I don't need any of my friends

I don't even know what I'm going to do with the fact that I've hurt someone I have considered a close friend.

I hate the fact that I don't even care about even more. I know I should care about it.

I don't fucking know how to make the situation better. All of my attempts have been in vain and I feel like an egoistic twat because I always considered that she's perfectly happy with someone else and doesn't have any feelings toward me any longer

I don't fucking know how affection works.