fucking hell

Maybe I wouldn't be crying awake in bed at 5:03 trying to get attention from people I have literally never met

I'm sorry I tried

My uni keeps giving me chances and I keep completely ignoring them

The deadline went from Dec 28 to March 30 in like 5 or so steps

Most of the dates they gave me, however, were not official, just an approximation; this time they handed me a paper

I kind of want to have a mental illness as an excuse now, is this bad

I don't even know at this point, honestly, I bloody hate people who abuse the said action

thanks tumblr

thanks tumblr for making me hate self-diagnosing mental illness too, while we're at that

(also thanks ry for proving me wrong about that)

Anyway I've been so paranoid about being called a hypocrite that I've been trying to avoid it to death

(Because many, many people from the right share a lot of tactics with the tumblr squad)

I feel like two parts of my brain are trying to fight eachother about that and I can't keep trying to reason with my impulsive thoughts

Maybe blaming myself for my fuckups constantly wasn't the best course of action

Oh yeah, I actually need a note from a mental ward that I am mentally healthy to work with government secrets

ok hand emoji

Maybe depression does not actually matter for that - I sure do hope so

But yeah, kind of ironic

Also I feel like I have been ranting for almost an hour with no emotional relief