scenario: a situation
my brain: hey let's just assume the worst that could possibly happen

just woke up at 4:50am shaking

why am I shaking?

oh wait it's the inevitable dreadful future

what the fuck even happened to me

why am I this fucking hopeless

hey how about I actually do something about my sit- nah let's just sit in the corner and sob like a fucking idiot

I don't even know what I'm going to do if I can't talk to friends I've made online

you're basically my solace and all I have to not go completely fucking insane

and I just don't know what I would do if I couldn't talk to you

I don't know what I would do with my currently running projects

some people literally depend on them

I don't know why I started them in the first place, I fucking knew I was a piece of shit who can't set priorities

I don't know why I got friends either

Why did I let myself hurt both myself and others simply by going away

Why did I not just.. try to do things myself. Maybe I would actually be more productive instead of looking at telegram every 30 seconds because I lack self-control.

fucking hell

Maybe I wouldn't be crying awake in bed at 5:03 trying to get attention from people I have literally never met