God fucking why

Every fucking time I try to go to bed and sleep I keep thinking about dumb shit

I keep thinking about her and what happened and I just don't understand

Ever since she switched accounts it felt like she was kind of.. colder

And then I somehow found out that she has had a channel all this time and she didn't even tell me

I'm fine with being friends. Entirely. I would have been, at least, if she told me upfront so I could at least have the time to process all of it.

But.. she doesn't even consider me a close friend.

FUCKING WHY

WHERE DID I GO WRONG

I CAN'T FUCKING FALL ASLEEP BECAUSE OF THIS BULLSHIT

I'VE LOST A FRIEND OVER THIS ALREADY, I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO LOSE MORE

I've tried so fucking hard to stay friends. She seemed like such a great person to be around.

And now I'm just completely unable to talk to her because I went too far when I shouldn't have.

I don't fucking know how to talk to people. I don't know if what I'm saying is rude or insensitive. And if I say something stupid, please, PLEASE let me know, don't just fucking block me out of nowhere.

I want to, but I'm so fucking exhausted

I had 2 hours of sleep today. I could barely get up to get my phone.

All I want is to sleep

I can't. I keep thinking about stupid shit that doesn't matter any longer.