actually no I didn't lose them I didn't even take any for the entire semester

But I'm too fucking anxious to do anything any more

I don't know what to do and doing anything remotely productive makes me want to die

Doing nothing at all also does the same thing

I can't spend my life procrastinating

Especially now that I'm risking losing everything

Quite obviously if we're short on money my PC is going to be the first thing to go, because according to her "I don't need it"

haha okay

I need to get help to get out of this shitty cycle but I can't even bring myself close to making a phone call

Maybe I can actually find myself a good job that doesn't require any education

I've heard you can get some that do require it even without any diploma just based on your skills alone, but I doubt it

My portfolio isn't huge and it's honestly rather horribly written and obviously I am not going to have the time to rewrite everything

oh nice my mom also enabled parental controls on the internet from the ISP's side so I can't even work or talk to my friends when I can't sleep

That shit just drops all the packets, no way around it

And oh boy I'm not going to be able to sleep

I don't know why, but I want to see myself bleed. I know it does nothing and just makes a huge mess but I still get the urge and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

Oh well, time to get rid of all sharp objects in the room.

So my cat just bit me really fucking hard

So I guess I got what I wanted

Yep, this is still useless.