Of course it's just my character, nothing else, I'm just an insensitive asshole.

of course it's all my fault and I need to hear about it every day

of course it's fine to scream at me when I haven't done something because I'm exhausted

of course what I am doing is completely and utterly pointless

of course I can survive without the emotional support of my friends, alone, on my own

of course it's fine to snap at me at every single thing I said wrong

of course it's completely fine that I broke down multiple times while trying to ask my mom to not be as harsh to me

on my fucking birthday

Yeah, I've fucked up my own life.

And I slowly keep on fucking it up even further.

Because I'm a weak piece of shit.

Because I don't do the things I'm supposed to because I'm lazy.

I don't fucking know how to relieve stress.

The only thing I can reasonably do is just sit and scream here and it's just not working.

Talking does not work, it just stresses me out even further because I get met with constant criticism about things that are true but completely irrelevant

She never fucking apologized. For anything. She's so fucking cold and I can tell that she's just disappointed

(The above is mostly about my mom)

I'm so fucking tired. I just want to rest. I can't fucking do this any longer.

She's not going to fucking help me do things around the house purely out of spite. She said it herself. And every time I don't make my bed or wash all the dishes I get the same condescending tone

And then she fucking wonders why I don't want to go anywhere with her.

I want to stay home. I don't want to interact with people.