tbh? it's extremely exhausting, i'm constantly fighting impulses, i'm constantly fighting not to break my own shit, spills my food/water, i've actually impulsively hit my laptop scream bc my brain goes "hey, break your laptop screen it'll be fun"

cutting doesnt really do anything for me

(fun fact: I've stabbed my thigh with various things, including a screwdriver, and a butter knife)

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Thanks ni🅱️🅱️a