Hello Dear Green couch family!
In life most of us are fighting our own secret battles and we mask our wounds with pretending, laughter or jokes, which at the time makes it look like a cure but in retrospect it makes it even more worse like putting a plaster on a fresh wound then ripping it. Trust me I know even though I haven't walked ur path I have walked ur lane. Everytime we hurt and keep on hurting with out healing, we lose a part of our selves. I know the alternative is scary. Sharing is scary, being vulnerable is scary but that is what makes it the right choice. It makes it the path to heal to collect our broken pieces and make a beautiful masterpiece that is why in collaboration with a psychiatrist.
If there is anyone out there who is struggling and wants someone to hear them out, I will leave you my username @bezarocksurworld so you can reach out anonymously and we can all heal each others wound.
After all we are put together in this world together for a reason.

I pray that Adonai makes you mentally, emotionally, and physically strong. You will not crumble under pressure, neither will you give up, because you are daily being strengthened from within.

Regardless of what you are expecting from God, keep trusting in Him. He is faithful and will certainly come through for you.

Be at ease and allow the God to finish the process He has started because His end result is always worth the wait.

Stop trying to figure out everything and allow God to lead you; relax, and allow the Spirit of God to help you navigate through the year.

You may have valid reasons that could disqualify you from rising to the next level, but your reasons are not valid enough before the King. His overflowing grace shall bring you to the place of lifting.

Even if your life seems like a mess, God is turning it into a message of hope and beauty. He is transforming your broken pieces into a wonderful picture of His grace and mercy.