I cast Bigby's Scritching Hand

I identify as a fighter

My pronouns are fight/me

I'm mesmerized

My personal space is about 500 meters

Sharing my art here too

Cuz I'm really proud of it

I have severe endometriosis.
Before I had a laprascopy, all I could do TWO days a month (every. single. fucking. month) was curl up into a tiny ball and sob in severe pain. Painkillers did fuck all.

re: endometriosis
I used to be on birthcontrol, which was fine but didn't stop the endo spreading a bit further all the time. I didn't have large enough endo-cysts until I was 29 so I was just told it was all in my head. Then, one beautiful spring day, while having lunch with a friend, I suddenly jerked forward in so much pain that I hit my head on the table. It felt like someone was stabbing my abdomen, constantly.
Turns out the endo-cysts had gotten so big that they were prodding into my other organs. Fun.

I then was rushed into hospital, got three wrong diagnoses, was put on all kinds of pills, told I had cancer, told I had something else, all the while I was working towards finishing my Master's. It was fun. Mental experience of the British NHS.

re: endometriosis (cuz, I need you to know about this shit, for the sake of all those with wombs)

After that I was on a constant menu of various forms of anti-inflammatory AND pain meds, all the while I was still (STILL) being told "oh, yeah, well, not everyone is able to withstand normal amounts of pain, you know... it doesn't mean you're weak, it's just you need to build up your resistence to pain."

FUCKERS.
THE FUCKING BUNCH OF THEM.

When the monthly pain was getting so bad that I couldn't function a week out of each month anymore, the hospital here in St. Gallen finally gave me an appointment with the specialist, who immediately scheduled me for a laprascopy (which is where they go in with a camera and other various tools to have a look - rather than just an ultra sound or an MRI).

They took out two endo-cysts the size of tennis balls.
They were surprised I'd managed to manage as long as I had and also had to separate other organs from each other bc the cysts had been pushing on them for so long that they had started fusing.

I had a long chat with the specialist who is one of the few who was doing longitudinal research into endo back then (2015), and he explained to me that some ppl have very widely spread endo and never notice it - except when it comes to fertility - and others have tiny bits of it but just "in the right place" so that it ruins their lives with pain and other issues. I was one of the lucky few who had a combo - widely spread and exactly in the right places to make my life a living hell.

As for anyone wondering why doctors didn't believe me / just told me to live with it: this is what girls get told all. the. fucking. time. Present as female as see how suddenly it's "all in your head, darling!"

"Oh, don't be so dramatic!"

"Stop making such a fuss - it's nothing!"