She hides all her problems behind smile. Behind her smile is a world pain and hurt. You think you know her, but you really have no idea.

I thought the most heartbreaking sound is a crying of a broken heart
every sniff and sob are like thousands of darts
getting through the system that it hurts
till the last strand of being—the pain burns.

I thought the most painful tears are those which you see
flowing from the eyes forming rivers to a sea
those which come with painful sobs
echoing behind locked door knobs

but I never knew there's still one
painful crying that creates no sound
a sound of a crying heart in silence
a sound of sniffs and sobs that yearn for recompense

I never have heard of a tearless cry
but I have seen her eyes and they can never lie
her tears streams down to her wounded soul
behind her laughter I can hear—it howls

I never have heard of cry without sniffs, sobs, and deep sighs
but I saw her beyond the lines
I heard the silent crack of her heart that shattered
into millions of pieces of words she never utter

I never knew how painful it could be
when you cry without tears melancholically
tears that's caged inside the heart for it can't flee
as no more of them can shed for the heart's too tired to bleed

and may be the most painful tears to cry
are the ones that come out dry
they don't show traces of pain
except by the confession of eyes that show no fain

the most painful cry is the one you can't hear
when the soul silently howl in sheer
tears which sound is only known to The Seer,
to Allāh alone Who is Near.

Veiled Poet | tearless cry

When I say I'm tired, it doesn't mean I am giving up. I just feel so exhausted in everything, that no matter how many times I force myself to get up, I still end up feeling completely wear out. I've been thinking about my life and it's a shame on me seeing myself helplessly not progressing. I can't even make myself proud.

When I say I'm tired, I want people to understand me. I want them to appreciate me eventhough I will never be enough to impress them. I want them to give me silence for awhile or simply leave me alone. I never want to quit, but at least give me a time to rest from this tiredness.

I may have failed so many times, but I am working hard to make myself better. I'm tired of proving myself to anyone. But I wish they know that before they become disppointed with me, I've already been disappointed with myself for a long time.

— Shiori X

"I tries my best and put more effort so that sadness does not appear on my face, but this is more pain than sadness itself."

She's tired.

She's tired of the psychological mind games and people pretending to be someone they're not.

She's tired of the shallow conversations with people that only care about themselves.

She's tired of attention from men with hidden agendas.

She's tired of being treated like an option when she should have been treated like a priority from the first conversation.

She's tired of spending countless nights questioning her own self worth.

She's tired of people not respecting her boundaries and forcing her to do things she's not ready to do.

She's at a point in her life where she wants to be loved correctly or be left alone completely.

~ Cody Bret

I disappear sometimes. It's my thing. No one notices, but there are days when I choose to just shut the door of my heart, and focus on trying to get through the rain and the sad thoughts that always find their way to the surface.

There are moments when people may need me and I'm not reachable. When the phone would ring and I'll just stare at the caller ID and wait it to stop because I don't want to talk. I hope they don't mind. I'm never good with opening up to people, or with sharing the weight of my world, and I think that it's fine. We all fight battles we don't tell anyone.

Don't get me wrong, my life has a lot of happy moments. But I disappear sometimes to save myself, and I hope it's not a selfish thing to do. I just want to win my battles, too.

— JMP

Ten months had already passed, and I can say that the greatest achievement I had done—so far—is to wake up each day and stay still, despite having many reasons to give up. There are days that sadness weighs heavier than myself, but I chose not to be swayed by the thought of letting it dragged me down—instead, I dragged my own feet to keep on going. I've had my share of this life's breakdown and downfall. And each time it happens, I learnt to stand back up stronger with the notion in my head that this might happen again—but by that time, we know how to deal with it better than before.

I can't let melancholy win over me now; I've had enough of grief and pain. It's all fine to face it again and again—that's just how life is—but I'll make sure to feel happiness on most of my days.

—Ren Ednalig, The Storytellers

Sometimes, I feel so lonely and empty. I feel like I'm not getting any better. There is this emptiness in me that wants me to stop waking-up in the morning. I feel so tired. It seems like I don't have the energy to face the world anymore. I just want to sleep so that I would never feel lonely. I want to escape from all the feelings that's been haunting me.

I feel so alone every night. Whenever I close my eyes, I wish I would never wake-up anymore. But I wake-up every morning and I have no other choice but to keep going. Life must go on even how lonely my life is. It's sad to bear this kind of feeling. A part of me wants to die, while there is a little part of me that wants to be saved too.

I miss being fine. I miss living a normal life. And I miss feeling something. I wish the feeling of emptiness will just disappear when I wake-up. I want to feel a little less lonely every day until I feel okay. But I don't know why it's just so hard to be okay. Even how hard I try, I still end up feeling lonely. And most of the time, it's trying to kill me.

— Shiori X

“Life changes. You lose love. You lose friends. You lose pieces of yourself that you never imagined would be gone. And then, without you even realizing it, these pieces come back. New love enters. Better friends come along. No matter how bad it gets.

Better days are always coming.”

Dear life..

Please don't make me cry again and again. i don't have any shoulder to cry upon, i'm all alone. : (

Sadvibes

𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬:
1. 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞.
2. 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭.

It's okay..
You'll be okay.
Maybe not now but one day you will.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing your best already.

Maybe you're feeling so overwhelmed and exhausted. Maybe you feel like giving up everything all at once because you just had enough..

But you're stronger than this.
I believe in you.

Some souls suffer silently.

I am tired of explaining myself. I know I come with a true but rude tongue. I know I am a hard person to be with. But please, don’t expect me to keep explaining myself to you. I am not standing in the court, defending myself against murder charges. I am not answerable to your “judgments.” I might be a difficult person. But I am not fake. So if you doubt me or my intentions, then just get the hell out of my life. Keep your doubts, judgments, and fears to yourself. If you can’t trust someone, then again, go to hell. But don’t keep telling me that “I can’t trust you.” I don’t care. I don’t want your trust. I don’t want you to believe me. I don’t want you in my life. I am not living to please you. I am living for my own happiness and my peace. You can stay only if you don’t ruin any of them. My life is not a battle in which you are the trophy. Find someone that worthless and desperate for whom you will be that winning trophy. For me, you are equal. If it’s about trust, we both need to trust. If it’s about efforts, we both make efforts. Nobody is doing any favor on anyone here. So if I give you space and trust, I expect the same from you.

I am sick of people coming and telling me that I “seem” like this and that kind of person. Do you know me? Do you know my story? Do you know my heart? No. You don’t. You are just a judgmental fool. And I don’t want this negativity in my life anymore. I have wasted enough time, explaining to people what I meant, what my intentions were. It’s all about trust. That trust has to be pure and blind. If your soul does not whisper that “trust this person,” then there is no point in us being anything. We should stay strangers. You live your life. I live mine. No fights, no arguments, no explanations, no drama, only peace we will have in our lives. I have no emotions and time left for people who don’t see the goodness in me, who can’t see the purity of my heart. You are blind. And that’s your problem. You deal with it. Don’t come with your problem to me. I am not interested in your mess. Trust me and stay or doubt me and leave. Choice is yours.

~ Rahul Kaushik

Please, if you’re struggling.

With anything. Or with everything.

Please, look to those of us who have come before you. Who have survived. When we never thought that we could survive.

Please know that we speak to you not in platitudes. Or to give false hope.

For we have been there.

On the floor. Crying so hard that our insides hurt. & we feared a neighbor might hear.

We tell you these stories of survival not to speak about ourselves. Or for attention.

We tell you these stories because we know.

The pain. The hopelessness.

& the lack of connection.

We were there.

When the thought of surviving another second seemed like an impossibility. Let alone another minute, or day.

We understand.

Because we have lived it.

And survived it. & are actively surviving it.

And because somehow, someway, we have rebuilt. & are actively rebuilding.

My heart will always hurt. As will yours.

But I am here.

Because even when I did not want to give myself another day.

I gave myself another day.

To grieve. To hope. To love.

& to live.

I am asking you not to believe what I say, today.

I’m asking you to give yourself another day, so that one day ~ you might believe what I say.

Life through all of its pain & in a much different way, can be beautiful Again. ❤️

jp.

i feel better when i’m alone.

I hope you choose kindness. Even when others are being cruel. When someone asks you to give them your heart all warm and full of trust, and they give you something makeshift and full of barbed wire in return: be kind. Some people need to feel your heart wrap around them more than you know.

—Kristen Robinson

I am a happy person, you know. I would be the last person on earth to crib and cry about life. But lately, I have lost my spark. I hardly laugh. And I just fake that smile. It’s been going on for a while now. Earlier, I ignored it as some sort of weird mood swing. But it is growing, daily. And daily I feel more and more withdrawn, more tired, more confused, and more sad. And more than sadness, I am getting frustrated because I don’t know the exact reason for this change. I can’t pinpoint a person or an event. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s just so weird for me to be sad. How can I be sad? But I have realized that sadness can hit us all. The reasons can be small or big, or no reasons at all. We hardly understand life and emotions. We just try to make sense out of things. And sometimes, nothing makes sense. And I have accepted that I won’t be able to understand this mess. I can just embrace it and fight it. Or I can just give up. And I have given up at times, to be honest. I did resign to my fate. I did fall weak. I did curse God. I did cry helplessly. But then, I was never a loser. I can’t just quit on life. So here I am writing it all down, trying to make some sense out of this crazy feeling.