Let me tell you one thing — pain demands to be felt. Everytime you're trying to be strong, handle all your problems alone, pushing other people away that only wants to help you're only causing further damage to your own heart. Stop convincing yourself that you're indestructible and made up of titanium when in fact your heart is naturally fragile. Let me tell you that it's okay to be soft , it doesn't make you weak. It's okay to be vulnerable, to open up sometimes, to cry and feel the tears of your innocent emotions.
But I promise you that all those pain is shaping you to become the better version of yourself
Like every other soul in this universe you're allowed to hurt and to break and like any fragile hearts in this world you're allowed to heal without doubting yourself if you can make it.

—Balt

Hey,
It's not selfish to put yourself first in some situations.
It's totally fine to lose people to find your inner peace.
It's okay to stay away from situations that make you feel unapprecited.

It's totally your right to surround yourself with positivity and positive people.

i had to endure life’s predicaments to get where i am now. i promised myself that i will give her the life she deserves—the life that she’s working hard for. believe me, i’ll do anything just to make it happen. i didn’t went all through that hardships for nothing.

- "This year took a lot from me, and it exhausted me in an unbearable way."

Sometimes everything inside you is crying, except your eyes.

"Sometimes that sadness gets so deep in your heart, that you can’t even cry."

“Saying I'm fine has destroyed me, the feeling of alienation has consumed me, I have never felt that this world suits me.”

Insomnia is the hardest thing
No one can imagine how much interrupted sleep is. etts
Especially when it’s on a daily basis, with no days off!!

Sometimes it can be fun. More than applying a full night without sleep!
Sleep but your brain is awake and you feel that everyone around you is making an effort when you are asleep more than when you are awake.

An open letter to myself:

I always wanted to say sorry to you because, most of the time, I fail to love and appreciate you. I always tend to forget that you are special too. I don't value you sometimes, and I even think that you are worthless. I want to say sorry to you for all the times that I've never been kind to you. I should've been more gentle with you. I should've reminded you every day that you were worthy. I should've made you believe that you were enough. I'm sorry— you didn't deserve all the pain that I've caused you.

I want you to know right now that you deserve to love yourself more each day. Speak kind words in front of the mirror and remind yourself that you are a beautiful soul. I want you to know that you should stop settling for less than what you deserve and start finding your worth. You are enough. You are worthy. And most importantly, your existence matters every day.

"Sometimes, crying is the only way your eyes speak when your mouth can't explain how broken your heart is." - Unknown

crazy how your trauma isn't your fault but you have to take full responsibility for your healing.

Lately I’ve decided to detach myself from some people.

My friends didn’t understand why I’ve been withdrawing myself from social activities. They didn’t understand my reasons, so I stopped explaining. I didn’t reply to messages except if they’re important. I didn’t go out of the house except when I have to buy my food.

You see, sometimes you have to be alone to appreciate loneliness. Loneliness needs not to be as lonely as you think. It gives you a chance to discover your inner self–your true self–when not surrounded by the noise of the world. It gives you an opportunity to explore your mind and to realize greater thoughts. It provides you a time for recollection and faith renewal.

Moreover, it’s in being alone that I appreciated my own company. I discovered my weaknesses and found ways to overcome them. Being alone allowed me to be creative, to spend my time writing things I’ve never even thought about.

I think I will continue down this path for a while.

Appreciate loneliness. You will discover your true strength.

-appreciating loneliness, hanzel writes

sincerely, me.

"We carry a lot of our feelings, then we sleep.”

She fight her own silent battles every night and for her she is brave enough to handle the world. But if you look closer enough to see her vulnerabilities you will realized that she can't handle herself. She is worthy to be love by someone that will constantly remind her that she is a warrior and a blessing combined in one person. She needs to be loved by someone who will look at her the way she look at the sunsets. Someone that will tell her the truth no matter how cold, cruel, or hard it is to hear. Someone that will make her smile on the days that she find it hard to be happy. She deserve someone that will remind her that she don't deserve the world because she deserve the entire universe.

—Balt

Sometimes, pain can no longer be tolerable. We break in each poke, we bleed in each trigger, we cry in each pain, yet we hold on in every verge of letting go. We cross the boarders of our patience, like elastic band we kept on extending it towards the ends of our doubts. We give more than what we should, and take less than what we deserve.

We fight to hold on to little hopes even if people tell us that it's high time to let go. We hope for better tomorrows even if storms are coming after storms. We fix the way we see that someone who makes our love and care frustrated. We are labelled as 'no longer sane' for holding on to hopeless things but—
I guess at some point, we choose to understand even when we are too broken, because we want to save that person from being remembered as a bad memory in our entire existence.

Perhaps we fight in order to end with good memories. Perhaps we hold on to save that person from our own judgement. Perhaps we don't want to end with hatred after the love, so when the time comes that we already have the courage to walk away, when the time comes that we are ready to stab our own heart with the truth that some things had to end tragically, we would take our heavy steps with good memories, full of acceptance, and peace.

—𝓥𝓮𝓲𝓵𝓮𝓭 𝓟𝓸𝓮𝓽 | to let go with good memories

We hurt ourselves by staying when letting go was the proper choice. I want to remind you that if it's destroying you and making you question your worth, it's not worth staying for, whether it's romantic relationships, friendships, work, routines, or patterns that make you feel less of a person. Go and move towards the blessings you hinder by allowing yourself to walk away from things and situations that suffocate you and have caused your mental health to decline.
Happiness is a choice so you have to move forward because it requires effort to become the version you want to be.

— Balt