"I didn't recover, I was forced to go through everything."

- Artwork By unknown.

i am not an open book. i sometimes refuse to let everyone read me aloud for even most of the people whom i allowed to see and walk through my pages still misread me, but i truly understand that—i am not everyone's cup of tea. i am too sentimental that i’m easily moved and amazed by people showing sincere and genuine gestures, the reason why i get really surprised when someone take a seat next to me and starts opening up every small detail about how he see me and on how he actually shares the same excitement, details, and thoughts about the things i love. that is pure gem, that is everything to me—knowing that someone actually has the same wavelength on things i thought people won't understand.

love, it's good to feel validated,

but always bear in mind that even without the approval and affirmation you’ve received from anyone,

you are worth and valued, always.

words x photo: jaeka

• Because, I know very well how it feels to hug yourself and repeat .. I am fine🥀

There are times where I feel like I'm slowly drowning in sadness. I honestly don't know how to deal with it especially when midnight arrives and I couldn't sleep because of it. It hurts to see me this way, I feel like I spend so much time being sad about the things that I couldn't control. Sometimes, I wake-up feeling so unhappy and it makes me want to sleep for a long period of time until every thing feels okay again. But why do I feel this constant sadness in my heart? I guess there are just really some people in my life that make me sad. There are just some things that I couldn't control in my head and I feel like I would always remember all those things that once hurt me. I wish I could just simply let go of this sadness. But how could I ever do that when every time I wake-up, I feel like my heart is tearing apart?

— Shiori X

When you die.
People cry and beg for you to come back.
But sometimes.
When you are here.
They don't even show they care about you 🥀 💔

“Life isn't easy for people with overthinking mind and sensitive heart.”

we carry the whole world on our shoulders, but we smile like not a worry sits in our head. we hold everyone together even if we ourselves need to be held. we look like that free bird that flies without worries but we really fight against our daily thoughts and struggle with all our battles silently.

we have been that bright star in the lives of people around us but it's time to be that star for ourselves. we have come this far. we deserve all the credits so let's be proud of ourselves.

— Orion | Orlando Prosaic

I've been struggling the hardest this year. I just wanted to delete this life and reset everything. I'm tired of all these stuff that's been happening to me. I've done many mistakes and I wanted to go back and fix all my bad choices. This life forces me to do things I really don't want to do. I can't tolerate this pain anymore. This life of mine is a whole patch thing, always trying to fix everything whenever life broke me.

-Lunatella | The Scent of Paper at Midnight
Artwork • elesq

Sometimes we laugh by remembering the days we cried.💔 And sometimes we cry by remembering the day we laughed.

Memories are always Special. That's Life.🥀

People cry, not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long.

Where can my heart find peace if not in me?.

- Notes from Wanderer

Unfortunately for the promises, they can be said but cannot be fulfilled. ☺️

Right now, I am just trying to survive.

I am just trying to go through my day. To accomplish what I can. To stop overthinking about the future. To believe that tomorrow could be a better day.

I am just trying to not fall apart. To stop thinking that I am a failure each time my plans don't go accordingly. To stop being frustrated over tiny inconsistencies or small shortcomings that I make.

I am just trying to stay strong. To not break the promises I made to my younger self. To not walk away from what I've started. To not make my 5-years-from-now dreams go to waste.

Right now, I am just surviving. And I hope that no matter how heavy the next days may be, I won't run out of reasons to keep going.

—Aaron Arciaga, (Pahimakas)

I'm mentally tired, I just need a small rest like this> ♡

With time you will realize, silence is the breaking point between your flow of emotions and your sadness, you are neither sad or overloaded with a bunch of feelings, you are just silent. And you wish not to go between any of your usual extremes, because although your heart is tired, it finally realized, and your soul is not floating between chaotic wind as always, it's silent, you no longer wish to try, nor you want to fight for anything or anyone, you let things be as they are and you just watch in silence.
Yasmine Lasheen.

get tired but learn how to get up.

it's hard when you are showering yourself with assurance of chances yet you are in the darkness phase. it's hard to bloom as wild flowers when you bear in yourself that you will stay in the phase of sadness; hide yourself in the corner of your room and isolate yourself instead of facing the world that awaits you outside of your comfort zone. i know you are struggling right now, your heart burst with thunders and crash of pain waves and you can't do anything but to weigh it and face tomorrow written with uncertainties.

get tired but take a rest.

you deserve the rest that will let your mind be in peace. let your body lay in cotton clouds. the rest that doesn't allow you to daydream. rest that can shut down your worries. free yourself from any bottled-up emotion, no matter how you get used to it. lend yourself with gentleness after sabotaging it. in order to get up you have to change your perspective about life, that being messed up is totally fine, it's a way to be brave and come back stronger for your younger self. to prove that you can. i hope, after this tiring trying of living, you will get excite about life again.

—myth.

keep on going; remember that you've come so far. and it is not over yet, as long as you are breathing.

amidst all the hardship that you're facing, you are still here; not giving up. that even there's a thought of you that something has no point, you are still going. and even though you are far from being what you want to be, you know that you will still get there. eventually, it will be worth it. i promise.

sometimes, this house doesn't feel like a home; it is no longer a home.

when the people inside of it are like strangers, not a family. when you get nothing but pressure, disappointments, trauma, and pain. the people inside of it lacks of giving you support, sympathy, empathy, and understanding. you don't get what you wanted and you are getting invalidated; you felt like a nobody, like you do not belong in it.

lately is a different kind of day. a lot of things have been running in my mind nonstop. there's too much to think about and it's getting hard to stand with them at the same time. i know i have control over these thoughts in my head, but they just won't allow me to interfere.

sometimes i wanna cry, like letting the tears out of my freaking eyes to somehow feel light and easy. i wanna have someone to hold me because even my body can't stand the pain of being alone. but i know, afterward, even if i lose sight of counting the stars, i still have to go on and fulfill the promise of my younger self. maybe i am just losing my will on everything now, but i have to find the little hope in me to spark again.

anyways, i know i am not the only one who's feeling this way. i know we all have situations to face, and i only hope for one thing, that is, to survive each day with a braver heart.

—Dia