"One day, when I was oppressed by cold, I found a fire which had been left by some wandering beggars, and was overcome with delight at the warmth I experienced from it. In my joy I thrust my hand into the live embers, but quickly drew it out again with a cry of pain.
How strange, I thought, that the same cause should produce such opposite effects!"

"I examined the materials of the fire, and to my joy found it to be composed of wood. I quickly collected some branches; but they were wet, and would not burn. I was pained at this, and sat still watching the operation of the fire. The wet wood which I had placed near the heat dried, and itself became inflamed.

I reflected on this; and, by touching the various branches, I discovered the cause, and busied myself in collecting a great quantity of wood, that I might dry it, and have a plentiful supply of fire. When night came on, and brought sleep with it, I was in the greatest fear lest my fire should be extinguished. I covered it carefully with dry wood and leaves, and placed wet branches upon it; and then, spreading my cloak, I lay on the ground, and sunk into sleep.

“It was morning when I awoke, and my first care was to visit the fire. I uncovered it, and a gentle breeze quickly fanned it into a flame. I observed this also, and contrived a fan of branches, which roused the embers when they were nearly extinguished. When night came again, I found, with pleasure, that the fire gave light as well as heat; and that the discovery of this element was useful to me in my food; for I found some of the offals that the travellers had left had been roasted, and tasted much more savoury than the berries I gathered from the trees. I tried, therefore, to dress my food in the same manner, placing it on the live embers. I found that the berries were spoiled by this operation, and the nuts and roots much improved."



Our Homo erectus discovers fire.

The strange system of human society was explained to me. I heard of the division of property, of immense wealth and squalid poverty; of rank, descent, and noble blood.

The words induced me to turn towards myself. I learned that the possessions most esteemed by your fellow-creatures were, high and unsullied descent united with riches.

A man might be respected with only one of these acquisitions; but without either he was considered, except in very rare instances, as a vagabond and a slave, doomed to waste his powers for the profit of the chosen few.

-Frankenstein's Monster discovers Rousseau

And what was I? Of my creation and creator I was absolutely ignorant; but I knew that I possessed no money, no friends, no kind of property. I was, besides, endowed with a figure hideously deformed and loathsome; I was not even of the same nature as man. I was more agile than they, and could subsist upon coarser diet; I bore the extremes of heat and cold with less injury to my frame; my stature far exceeded their’s. When I looked around, I saw and heard of none like me. Was I then a monster, a blot upon the earth, from which all men fled, and whom all men disowned?

-He lays the ground work for Dazai

‘But Paradise Lost excited different and far deeper emotions. I read it, as I had read the other volumes which had fallen into my hands, as a true history. It moved every feeling of wonder and awe that the picture of an omnipotent
God warring with his creatures was capable of exciting. I often referred the several situations, as their similarity struck me, to my own.

Like Adam, I was apparently united by no link to any other being in existence; but his state was far different from mine in every other respect. He had come forth from the hands of God a perfect creature, happy and prosperous, guarded by the especial care of his Creator; he was allowed to converse with and acquire knowledge from beings of a superior nature, but I was wretched, helpless, and
alone.

Many times I considered Satan as the fitter emblem of my condition, for often, like him, when I viewed the bliss
of my protectors, the bitter gall of envy rose within me.

...

‘Accursed creator! Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from me in dis-
gust? God, in pity, made man beautiful and alluring, after
his own image; but my form is a filthy type of yours, more
horrid even from the very resemblance. Satan had his companions, fellow devils, to admire and encourage him, but I am solitary and abhorred.'

-The monster discovers Milton

Stalker(1979)

Faith, Art and Science walk into a bar?

Don't know what else to make of this film.

Funniest moment is when the stalker and the writer went on a perilous stroll to find the scientist already there having a sandwich.😁

Reminds me of something I wrote in highschool.
...
I'm a brief second in an era
A presence too faint to be felt
A drop of water in the sea
A tiny black dot on a sheet

In shallow ponds, in oceans deep
I run, I walk, I crawl and creep
In bliss, in bloom, in fall, in gloom
In others' joys and in their fume

Your handiwork, Your masterpiece
Beseeches You, please do rejoice
With drawn lifelines, embedded voice
I pursue skills of absent choice

A brief second in Your epoch
I kick and scratch from dawn til dusk
In strife, in peace, in good and bad
Until the knock from death shall sound

This year must be the worst reading year I've had so far. I mean in terms of the amount of reading I've done. I talked about reading and watched more reading content than I actually read.

By being active on telegram, I discovered many interesting channels and people, which I'm really happy about.

On the other hand, this channel is holding up so much of my headspace as I feel the urge to immortalize my unrefined, fleeting thoughts and emotions several times a day. I don't like that.

I'm not gonna overcorrect and delete this channel or anything. Luther needs his door after all.😉

This is an indefinite suspension while we go out in search of our destinies.
I'll meet you under the willow.

I'll leave you with Pessoa. We should all be left with Pessoa.💜

Death Of An Artist

By Alexander Raju

If death's inevitable, die at the right time,
While people retain you dear to their hearts;

Don't die too young, before your talents proved
That your death a devastation to the world;

Don't die too old that you a skeleton turned,
Your body shrunk to a shrimp, and face dried;

Die when your image is quite fresh and clear
In the minds of your kith and kins so dear;

Die when others could say, ‘early a bit'
That a few drops of tears would stain their cheeks;

Do your best and leave your life incomplete,
Give yourself a chance for a life second;

Hate the longevity of Tithonus,
Be Ulysses and conquer your lifespan;

Live and die a beauty, and be content,
For singing you stopped when your voice was good.

"Do I have an original thought in my head? My bald head. Maybe if I were happier, my hair wouldn't be falling out. Life is short. I need to make the most of it.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
hhffff, I'm a walking cliché.
I really need to go to the doctor and have my leg checked. There's something wrong. A bump. The dentist called again. I'm way overdue.
If I stop putting things off, I would be happier. All I do is sit on my fat ass.
If my ass wasn't fat I would be happier. I wouldn't have to wear these shirts with the tails out all the time. Like that's fooling anyone. Fat ass.
I should start jogging again. Five miles a day. Really do it this time. Maybe rock climbing.
I need to turn my life around. What do I need to do? I need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read more, improve myself.
What if I learned Russian or something? Or took up an instrument? I could speak Chinese. I'd be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese and plays the oboe. That would be cool.
I should get my hair cut short. Stop trying to fool myself and everyone else into thinking I have a full head of hair. How pathetic is that?
Just be real. Confident. Isn't that what women are attracted to? Men don't have to be attractive. But that's not true. Especially these days. Almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days.

Why should I be made to feel I have to apologize for my existence?
Maybe it's my brain chemistry. Maybe that's what's wrong with me. Bad chemistry. All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help for that. But I'll still be ugly though. Nothing's gonna change that."

- Charlie Kaufman, Adaptation (2002)

Alone

"From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were, I have not seen
As others saw, I could not bring
My passions from a common spring
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow, I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone
And all I loved, I loved alone"

-Edgar Allan Poe

Prep for the AI apocalypse😉