Stop what you're doing and listen to this!💜

My nights are boulders that I push up the hill of monstrous things that "shouldn’t concern me". Columbian neck-ties, the Menendez brothers, eugenicists, serial killers, rapists…you name it, I push it. And push it some more. It’s unmoving, unyielding.

My days ...déjà vu’s, hazy smokes of exhaustion, or what remains of my days after my obsessive ruminations,  subtle rages and inexplicable gloom. I exaggerate my plight, of course. If only to substantiate the insubstantial.

I wish I could pull out my brain and squash it like the doughy pest it is!

It doesn't help that I spend the bulk of my time seeking after obscure interests that nobody else but me seems to care about. 

How did we get here? Perhaps, this ain't no place for heart-to-hearts. Is it wiser to be vulnerable and open up yourself for attack, or feign strength hoping to be made strong eventually?                                                                                             But don't be disheartened for the Lord in His abundant mercy shall quiet our raging minds. Yours and mine. And mine. And mine.

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A DREAM OF DEATH

I dreamed that one had died in a strange place
Near no accustomed hand,
And they had nailed the boards above her face,
The peasants of that land,
Wondering to lay her in that solitude,
And raised above her mound
A cross they had made out of two bits of wood,
And planted cypress round;
And left her to the indifferent stars above
Until I carved these words:
She was more beautiful than thy first love,
But now lies under boards.

-William Butler Yeats

"Her blue eye was never lit up by the levity of the mind beneath. There was a melancholy charm about it which did not seem to arise from misfortune, but from some feeling within, that appeared to indicate a soul conscious of a brighter realm."

-The Vampyr, John William Polidori

I've forgotten everything about this short story/ novella. But I'll never forget these words. I suspect they mean little to other people but they mean the world to me. It's unhealthy how much I think of them.

Should have shared this joke last year. Damn!

I wanna learn animation just to animate my favorite poems. Tell me if y'all know free courses and softwares mnamn. Stress on "free".

I think the Grinch stole Christmas!

My mama's an artist. I could auction this off.

Serenity. Beauty. What's grindset to these? I don't want to be a fool and have unrealistic views of the world only for poverty to come and rearrange my priorities for me. I'm naive and sheltered. I never really lacked. Lord knows my folks could have used some wealth, preferrably generational wealth, when they were growing up. I've had my mild share of financial anxieties over the years but never for what I truly needed. I wonder if my parents realize this is the generational wealth they've created for me. The luxury to stargaze and notice sunsets, to take photos like this and be gentle with animals.

There are times I failed and fell but never face-first; I always slid gently down the length of their shoulders.

I think they do know this. They're quite arrogant about it, sometimes.😁 But I still gotta find a way to seamlessly slide my gratitude into a conversation.

Edit: I took the above pic. I'm really proud of it.☺️