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Every autumn, mature male tarantulas start on their quest to find a mate, exposing them to many dangers such as hawks and skunks, cars on the road, and people. (Thanks to Ralph)

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/wait-were-supposed-to-worry-about-them.html
Carson Wentz gets booed despite Eagles having no fans in the stadium (Thanks to Rod Nunley)

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/perfect.html
Canadian police make arrests as tempers flare in lobster feud (Thanks to Barry Nester) To be clear: The Canadians' tempers are flaring, not the lobsters'.

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/a-nation-on-the-brink-of-total-anarchy.html
A 30-year-old Norwich driver who hit speeds in excess of 100 mph before hitting several trees and rolling a car on the highway reportedly told police she wanted to “test the capabilities” of the vehicle. (Thanks to John Gebler, pharmaross and John Lobert)

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/or-you-could-just-you-know-kick-the-tires.html
12 injured after hydrogen-filled balloons explode during Indian PM’s birthday (Thanks to pharmaross) Moral: Hydrogen is not the same thing as helium.

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/other-than-that-it-was-a-fun-party.html
Would you buy $1,400 overalls — with fake grass stains? (Thanks to klezmerphan)

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/bear-in-mind-theyre-guccis.html
Watch 10,000 snail-eating ducks 'clean' a rice paddy (Thanks to Dave N., who says "They opened the tour for the Yardbirds, I think.")

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/put-your-hands-together-people.html
...be sure to pay your bill. (Thanks to Geoff)

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/if-you-dine-at-waffle-house.html
Parrot interrupts Brazilian soccer practice, lands on player's head (Thanks to Ralph)

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/and-in-sports-1.html
Researchers from the University of Bristol used a behavioural test on lab rats that measures their emotional experience while tickling them and listening for squeaks. (Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/time-to-get-a-real-job-researchers.html
Fergus, Ont., woman fined $25K for illegally importing hundreds of doses of bovine semen (Thanks to Allen at Division and pharmaross)

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/canada-a-nation-out-of-control.html
Snake lands on Mississippi woman as she opens her front door (Thanks to pharmaross)

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/welcome-home.html
Dunfermline man exposed his buttocks to his neighbours shouting: 'Take a photo of this!' (Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/csi-dunfermline.html
Man who took clothes off to keep imaginary snakes from attacking him appears in court (Thanks to pharmaross)

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/represented-we-assume-by-a-non-imaginary-lawyer.html
Cleaning fan asks what the black dots which have mysteriously appeared in her kitchen are & is horrified by the answer (Thanks to John Lobert)

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/defo-spider-poo.html
Robert Kraft likely to get off in Florida massage parlor case (Thanks to pharmaross)

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/ladies-and-gentlemen-the-new-york-post.html
A man dressed in a chipmunk outfit robbed a Ville Platte pharmacy at gunpoint over the weekend. (Thanks to Ralph)

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/that-was-no-man-that-was-a-large-squirrel.html
MTA board to formally ban pooping in subways and buses (Thanks to Asher Scheiner and Jeff Meyerson)

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/if-you-can-make-it-there-you-cant-make-it-everywhere.html
Pensioner wiped out village’s broadband for 18 months by turning on old TV (Thanks to Prairie Cynic and Allen at Division)

via Dave Barry's Blog https://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2020/09/send-this-pensioner-to-washington.html