When it is hard, I just say to myself, "I need to bear a little more."
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How did Christ die?
Didn’t He feel pain or fear?
Wasn’t He confused?
What if He is the First Feat-Bearer, in other words, the First Martyr, and others followed His way? But this is the point of martyrdom.
It is not some flippant act. Forgive me my pertness, but I think that a martyr should feel something because this is the point. He voluntarily, for Christ’s sake, agrees to the pain, sickness at the heart and overcoming fear.
I like to read about the martyrs who felt physical pain and profound moral pain. This is a real martyrdom. They remained loyal to Christ and did not break down only because they were supported by Christ. Otherwise, no one can survive that burden and pain. That is why, when it hurts so much, we need Christ badly.
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The Jesus prayer allows everything to be weaved together and creates internal symphony and harmony, so the mind, heart and will act together and in one direction, towards God.
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No matter what awaits us in the future, whether it be hunger, war, plague, or the antichrist, our last point should always be "Even so, come, Lord Jesus!"
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... when I have small trials of my daily, common and small martyrdom, this is a test of choice not just regarding martyrdom but regarding a small effort, and when I find myself incapable of overcoming even some small temptations, I do not know why but I always end up with the same thought, “Lord, what if there is martyrdom? Will I overcome it? If not, what is going to happen then? Denial? Since there is no other option.” How horrible and terrifying it is. It is painful to tears and frustrating. Lord, I might not stand out. None of us will have enough strength, unless God strengthens us. Say the Jesus prayer, be with God and do not think that what we now call the accumulation of grace will allow us to escape suffering. There will be suffering, but to a bearable extent. It will be painful and fearful but with no extreme.
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Our fate is within the Providence of God. This is the way God gives us the script of our life.
It is easier to bear the cross of your fate when you understand the point of it and do not see punishment, but the Love and pain of God in this cross. It is the pain of His heart, which suffers punishing you. This is why you do not contradict or take offence, but even in this cross-bearing, you are moved by the care that God provides for you. The cross should be conscious and it should become desirable for us.
When you realize the essence of temptations and see Christ with His wise test for you in them, then you have your consent to and desire for this Cross, because you know that such a lesson will give you a good result, if you endure it all.
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If there is no sacrifice, then there is no anything.
You may lock yourself in your house and invent asceticism for yourself, but this will be the asceticism that you have made up on your own.You have tried it on, and it feels comfortable and spiritually cosy in it.
Sacrifice is not born this way. It reveals itself in compulsion to do what you do not want to do, in concessions.
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Pride is the trait that separates us from God, while humility is the door through which grace, abundant,endless and limitless, comes into a person.
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No matter how horrible, blasphemous or evil thought comes to you, do not enter into a relationship with it from the very beginning. Do not even deny it or argue with it. It does not exist. Let it tell you anything it wants. Do not react.
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Even among harlots there are more or less restrained or temperate people, but she was one of the filthiest. She was as rotten as no one gets. She even came on board a ship that brought pilgrims to holy sites. Then she acknowledged during her confession to Zosimas, “I boarded that ship in order to corrupt those people who traveled to the holy land.” Do you imagine how low a person can fall? She boarded the ship to fornicate with the people who went to venerate the holy sites. And after such a depth of worthlessness she becomes a great saint.
There is a notion. When a person drowns and has neither strength nor a way to get out, he or she has only one means left – having touched the bottom, kick off it. The water does not hold you, you are sinking deeper and deeper, paddling and clambering, but water is an unstable substance, and you cannot hold on to it. There is only one way – when you get to the bottom, shove off it with a jerk and go up. Perhaps, this is how it worked with Saint Mary of Egypt…
… Why do we go to church? To have our silliness enlightened by the Wisdom of God. You do not go to church, live as you wish then. This will be this way. You will live by inertia, die, and people will forget you. Your close relatives die, and there will be no one to renovate your tomb cross. This is the point of life. It consists of stealing everything by death. The cross will fall and become rotten. That’s it. Amen. The end of meaning. The meaning is only in God. Glory to God, Saint Mary of Egypt became humble of mind and now she has been venerated for so many years. The whole Sunday of Great Lent is dedicated to her. We served the Standing of Saint Mary of Egypt on Thursday. Who deserves such an honor? A former harlot, who is a great Saint now.
Glory to our God, always, now, and ever, and unto the ages of ages! Amen!

Archpriest Sergiy Baranov

Holiness is not in the number of prayers and prostrations but in the change of our heart. If our heart becomes more kind, tender, humble, and yielding, this will mean that we are on the right path. If we make a thousand prostrations but remain mad as a wet hen, then these prostrations mean nothing.
They will not serve as our justification but will be our condemnation.
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Do not relax. There are often times of depression. Be patient. If you do not have the noetic prayer and your heart keeps silent, say it with your mouth. Find yourself an occupation, so you do not remain idle. Thoughts come easily to an idle person and almost never come to a busy one. Say the prayer aloud and do not agree with this depression.
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At those moments, when coolness comes into your spiritual life, do not believe that this is a dead end. Not at all. This is just a hill behind which there will be a valley. Many inexperienced monks and nuns fell into despair and yielded to the thoughts that this was not their way, that this was a mistake, they would never be able to rise and regain the state of primary joy they used to have because there was no experienced spiritual guide by their side who would explain everything and cheer them up. In such a case, people might sink into a long depression and dismay and lose everything.
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THE FEAST IN THE WATER
The sermon by archpriest Sergiy Baranov on the Day of Annunciation 07.04.2024 ⬇
https://ivermon.ru/en/the-feast-in-the-water

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Holiness presupposes the fulfillment by God, by His energies.
The state of being holy is the state of deification, when God dwells inside of a person.
In this case, a person acts, thinks and loves through God.
God wishes to give holiness to everyone.
Look, what He says, "You are gods" (Ps. 86:1); gods with no capital letter and not like the gods of the Athenian pantheon. What He means is "gods through Me and in Me."
This is how we should always act - in God.
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Our main mistake is our cunning pride.
We think that we can cope with a thought and this is why we come to meet it and enter into a relationship with it.
It seems to us that we contradict it, and, perhaps, this is how it all begins, but then we come round and see that it has defeated us again.
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Earthly things give us external peace, which is very unstable and unreliable, while God will give us internal peace, the path to which goes through the cross of overcoming and humbling ourselves. It is a precious science of obedience that you yourself, above all others, need. This is the path of your heart to heaven.
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Do not despair or be upset. The word "upset" means that you are like an upset mechanism that is good for nothing. You should see your mistake and amend it immediately. When a person repents of a certain misdoing for a long time that seems to last for hours, days, and months, he loses his time for reformation, or metanoia. He simply repeats the same fact, "I sinned, I sinned, I sinned."
To which the Lord answers him, "Yes, I've already heard this. Do something about it."
You should change the situation and work on it.
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The Incarnation of God for the sake of meeting with His sinful child is one of the most moving moments of Christianity.
He descends to our world not to be a human within the bounds of flesh but to take the human by his hand and bring him to the heavenly world with Him.
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