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🌸Providing halal sustenance for the family🌸

🌺If women are treated with kindness, good temper ,and generosity by their husbands, will remain loyal , kind and suportive towards them in the worst financial situations and they try to return the situation to the first state with the help of their spouse.

🌺The characteristics of constructiveness and contentment will be created when the man of the family is generous towards them and makes welfare and comfort for his family .

🌺 In the previous session, we refered to two important principles of home economic that includes work, clean earning , sancsity and its nessecity which are two important cases and related to this we want to hint of another two .

🌺Fourth Principle:

- Moderation in the economic:

It's so important. God and infallible ones (peace be upon them) gauranteed that moderation causes that no one gets in the grip of poverty.

🌺 God has put sufficient clean earning for each servant but some of them don't abide modertion and economic so gets in the grip of poverty.

🌺 Imam al-sadegh (peace be upon him)said :" I gaurantee
that if someone does not have greed and is moderate, he would never become poor. And he continues ( in definition of a good people) that, those who donate, do not squander and are not strict and observe moderation .

🌺 It means we consider the minimum and the maximum in
the life and expenses then choose the average and emphasize this subject.

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🌸 the end of session 3 🌸

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If we want prosperity in this world and the Hereafter, we must observe three aspects:
• financial
• emotional
• spiritual

Religious principles for strengthening the family:

The essence of working to provide family financially is a must and is considered prayer; and laziness and boredom should be abandoned.

Family’s sustenance and the way of earning it, should be Halal. When we say something is Halal, we mean that it is compatible with the mathematical structure of mankind and its happiness. God has assigned Halal and Haram according to the structure of man.

Imam al Ridha has said: Halal means beneficial, Haram means harmful.

So, our occupation should be Halal. The income from some occupations is Haram.
Sometimes the occupation itself is Halal, but our carelessness causes our money to become Haram (not paying Zakat, Khums, …)

Sometimes the occupation itself is clean and acceptable, but actions from our part makes the whole income suspicious.

It’s our duty to not make our income suspicious (of being Haram). Seeking Halal is a duty of all men and women. God likes to see his servants get tired in the way of acquiring Halal income.

Some examples of Haram occupations:
Sometimes the occupation itself makes the money Haram. And other times, the cause is some other factors. For example:

Fraud in work, like selling used as new, selling food past its expiration date as fresh, giving named marks to one’s own designed clothing, Smuggling.

There are two kinds of advice about Haram and Halal when it comes to income:
• To have Halal income
• To avoid Haram occupations and jobs if one encounters them. We should avoid Haram.

Sometimes, our own money and sustenance is Halal. But another person’s sustenance is Haram. This should also be avoided. All infallibles have sayings about this.

Our holy prophet has said: letting go of one bite of Haram, is better than two thousand Rakat of optional Salat.

It means that avoiding one bite of Haram, is Dearer to God than two thousand Rakat of Salat. So you can see how harmful eating it can be.

Relinquishing even the smallest amount of Haram money, is very valuable to God. Now you can see how degrading using it will be.

- to be continued

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►Haram (forbidden in religion) has a lot of destructive effects.
►Haram sustenance (ill-gotten earnings) damages human just as virus does. It destroys the existential structure of human in all individual, familial and social systems; it is like cancer or bomb that destroys everything.

►Allah, who has created the world, says that there are a series of external blights which can destroy worldly and otherworldly life of humans. Haram sustenance is like poison; the contaminated person may do any kind of foul deeds. It makes you begin with a minor petulance and drags you to the point of killing infallibles.

►Haram sustenance has unlimited effects. In our colloquial language, a person who does all kinds of crimes is called "haram loqmeh(morsel)" (means one whose food is provided from forbidden earnings).

►God says: “If haram sustenance enters your life, it will have a lot of destructive effects. Sometimes parents say: "we have respected all of the principles, yet why is it that our couple or child is doing so and so?” That is because the destructive element (haram sustenance) is in your home. Take a look back and see where you have failed.

►In addition to all of the systems in existence there are two other systems known as the system of creation (physical) and the spiritual system. That is to say there is no object without inwardness. Sometimes a person with terminal disease invocates to Allah or infallibles, and is cured, because there is an inward (spiritual) system besides the physical one that works. So apparent matters are not all that exist. Haram sustenance affects both apparent and inward aspect of human. It destroys morality and sentiment of human and makes him lose his faith. Therefore if we want felicity, we should think about this point and work on it, and we should inform people, in order to prevent haram from entering our lives; because an infected person with haram affects others too.

- to be continued

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▪️Prophet Muhammad (SAWW) said: praying with haram (forbidden/prohibited) food is similar to constructing a building on top of sand. Haram food will waste all of your positive deeds. In another quotation, Imam al-Sadiq related: the person who acquires Haram money, will not have his Hadj, Umrah and bonding with his relatives accepted (by Allah).

▪️It even affects intimacy between couples and also the sperm/embryo. If conception is affected by haram food, and pregnancy moves on, it will have negative effects. It will affect the child. S/he will know no boundaries (when growing up). Because when haram food comes to our lives, it will corrupt everything.


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1- Prudence in the financial affairs of family

Usually all of us encounter two factors in planning the financial affairs of family:
• Earnings
• Expenditures

۲.All members of the family have a series of interminable desires and needs, and they often believe in having more earnings as the way of fulfilling their needs; but they pay less attention to the fact that in order to control the economy of the family, they need to incorporate specific strategies in family's expenditures as well.

3- It should be noted that spending has a series of principles and rules which if respected, will lead to more economic security for the members of family.

4- Never forget that the economy of the family and society, is a topic that certainly needs to be educated and learned; but unfortunately, most of the people do not care to learn this skill (the ways of economic management and the ways to spend), and this lack of skill causes the families to think of more income as the only way of solving their financial problems.

5 - Imam Ali (a) has a phrase herein:" Prudence is half of the expenditures."
That is to say if people are educated in financial affairs, and learn to act wisely in that regard, it is equivalent to economize half of the expenditures and will allow them to then manage the costs of their family very easily.

6- To have economic mindset and to be adept at economic ways is a very important issue and is something that we should learn in order to have felicitous family.

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►Imam Ali (a.s) in another Hadith said: when God wants good for a servant, He inspires frugality and good economic management to him/her, and keeps him/her from bad economic management and extravagant spending.

Be careful not to interpret this sentence from Amir al-Mu'minin "if God wants well for a servant" as determinism. For example, we should not think that if we do not have good economic management in life, it is because God hasn't inspired it to us.

This is the servant himself who attracts God's will and the divine inspiration. God loves all of his servants. It’s the humans' deeds that prepare their heart for accepting (or rejecting) God's inspiration.

This valuable hadith, is referring to this important subject that if someone is really moderated and has good management of the financial affairs of life، s/he would certainly be drawing on the grace of God.

►Imprudence at financial situations; the cause of poverty
Amir al-Mu'minin Ali (peace be upon him) says about management of financial affairs of the family:

"Good economic management increases small wealth, and bad economic management destroys great wealth."

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Amir al-Mu'minin Ali (peace be upon him) says about management of financial affairs of the family:

"Good economic management increases small wealth, and bad economic management destroys great wealth."

In providing for the family financially, if people do not follow the related laws and formulas, their financial growth will not be satisfactory in the sight of both God and themselves, and they will no be able to experience (having) blessed wealth and a happy and calm life.

The principle of moderation in finance has two pitfalls:

The first one is to take moderation too far, which will turn into stinginess in life.
The other one is to follow moderation too loosely which will lead to Prodigality and consumerism.

The important point which is emphasized in the matter of finance, is that one should pay attention not to be stingy with costs and finance, since this approach will result in poverty (not spending, and being afraid of spending, will cause financial failure) and on the other hand not be very consumptive and dissipative, which will also lead to poverty and (financial) failure.

► God says in Quran:

"O you who have faith! Do not prohibit the good things that Allah has made lawful to you, and do not transgress. Indeed Allah does not like the transgressors."

Following moderation in the matter of finance and not moving toward the extremes, will cause people to see it's good results in life, first of which is the freedom from financial crisis.

Imam Ali (a) says:" one who is frugal in wealthiness and poverty, is indeed prepared for the calamities of time."

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Imam Ali (a) says:" one who is frugal in wealthiness and poverty, is indeed prepared for the calamities of time."

In another hadith he has said:" adhere to moderation, as it is the best aid for a good life. “

The abundance of hadith in this context, reflects the great importance of prudence and moderation in financial affairs of the family.

Finally we conclude that, if people recognize the limits for costs and expenditures well, and spend their money wisely and prudently, they will never experience (financial) failure and poverty.

► How to increase wealth in the family

Another consequence of moderation in finance, is the increase in wealth; that is to say people can increase their property and wealth through moderating in life expenditures

For instance if three people with equal conditions (the same amount of funds and property) begin a job, while one spends in moderation, the other in scrimp and the third is extravagant in spending, the one who has adhered to moderation in his life will have a stable wealth.

Amir al-Mu'minin (Leader of the Faithful) Ali (a) says herein:" Whoever adheres to moderation, Allah will make him wealthy and needless."

► Failure in moderation: Prodigality

Unfortunately in Islamic countries (due to the will of some anti-Islamic superpowers that are always eager to see consumerism, dependence and poverty in Islamic nations) extravagance and squandering is so common.

In many verses of the Holy Quran, Allah has addressed the Muslims, saying that your enemies envy you and do not like you to have any success.

Consumerism and extravagance is too common in Islamic countries; though if people are vigilant enough, they would be able to counteract this problem easily.

There are a lot of warnings in the Holy Quran and Hadiths (quotes from the infallibles) for believers, which mention the Prodigality as a deadly sin, for which God has promised great punishments.

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► Recognizing the boundaries of extravagance

We have learned so far that financial provisioning of the family has a series of principles and rules, which if respected by the family members, would prevent the family from facing financial failure and bankruptcy.

► What is extravagance and who is called an extravagant person ?

Imam al-Sadiq (a) says herein:
“The extravagant person has three signs;
He buys things which are not congruent with his stature
He wears things which are not congruent with his stature
He eats things which are not congruent with his stature”

These three are the indicative signs of an extravagant person.

This trait of human, which always looks for the best and likes to be known as the best in the eyes of others, or enjoys showing off his belongings in front of others, is the trait that leads him to extravagance.

For instance, the wife puts a lot of pressure on the husband and leads the life toward extravagance ...., or on the other hand, sometimes the husband is extravagant while his wife is frugal, and prevents him from squandering.

It is mentioned in some Hadith that some attributes are reprehensible for men, but admirable for women; miserliness is one of those traits. Woman's miserliness in spending, is desirable for the family, as it prevents her husband and children from being extravagant with spending; this function, is even considered a duty for a housewife.

We also should care not to always desire the best products when shopping. This does not mean we should buy low quality and junk products; but we are not supposed to always have the best ones either. This kind of outlook (to want and to be satisfied with only the best products) is very unhealthy and dangerous, and has terrible impacts on both worldly (which manifests itself as financial and behavioral problems) and otherworldly life, and brings about great punishments in the afterlife.

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Are we included among the extravagant in God's eyes?

► An extravagant person buys things which are incongruous with his condition.

For instance he buys an expensive car which he cannot afford unless by going into a big debt. Buying such items which are incongruous with one's situation and income, is an example of extravagance.

Buying items which are incongruous with one's situation and income, and therefor forces a lot of pressure on the person, is an example of extravagance and is haram (forbidden) and also a deadly sin, which causes a lot of worldly and otherworldly harm.

Following the rules of moderation in financial affairs, does not depend on the amount of poverty or wealth of the person, but on the wisdom, piety and faith of him; it depends on the fact that whether or not he has found that his true value, stature, and honor is not based on the external tools and items, but instead is something internal which is within himself and is in his essence.

There are a lot of people who are rich and also moderate at the same time, they never overspend or waste money, and live calmly and happily. These people share their ease and comfort with others as well, and Allah bestows blessing upon them too.

► Another sign of the extravagant person is that he eats things which are incongruous with his condition.

For instance he goes to a costly restaurant, even though the prices of the foods served there have no congruency with his salary and the amount of money in his pockets.

🌸Imam Ali (a) says: “spending money except in its right place is dissipation and extravagance."
The Arabic words used in this hadith of Imam Ali (a), show two sides of this type of behavior:

1- Spending money in a place which is incongruous with the person's condition.

2- Spending money, in a place which will not lead to any gain for the person.

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Some examples of extravagance in our daily life:

for example, the pen holders that are bought for most of the managers, and just sit on their table and is rarely used, or the huge bouquets of flowers that are bought for funeral ceremonies, which have no use either for the deceased or his family, are some of the examples of extravagance.

► Extravagance in foods and beverages

Continuing with our topic about knowing the extravagant person, we refer to a hadith from Imam Ali (a):
"It behooves you to oblige yourself to (have) moderation in food (in both eating and feeding), as it keeps you away from extravagance."

By “keeps you away from extravagance", Amir al-Mu'minin (Commander of the Faithful) is referring to the fact that it distances you from Hell and worldly and otherworldly pains. For example the great extravagances which take place in gatherings and ceremonies, especially in Ramadan, is a good example of this kind of extravagance. Compared to other times, these kinds of prodigality is much more prevalent and egregious during Ramadan; even though the main purpose of fasting in Ramadan is to train human to overcome his animal aspect (animal side) and to put pressure on it.

Because during Ramadan, what our animal aspect desires, is not always given to it; but unfortunately we do not pay attention to this point and mostly care for having colorful tables for fast breaking and the meal we eat before dawn.

The same is true for the seeds and cores of some fruits like pumpkin, melon, watermelon..... Which unfortunately are thrown away and not used, even though their benefits and good effects are mentioned in many hadiths.

There are a lot of things in our houses which are looked upon as rubbish, which aren’t rubbish and have value, and if thrown away, we have to spend money for them later on again.

Hazrat says that pouring away the leftover water in the glass after drinking, is considered as extravagance too.

Due to our wrong eating habits, we Iranian always squander a lot and sometimes this behavior is considered as a classy trait which gives the person a kind of misplaced dignity. For example we believe that there should be something left in our dishes after eating, and the food should not be completely eaten. This is also a case of extravagance.

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Small examples of extravagance in life

Regarding the topic of extravagance and recognition of the extravagant, we mention a question which was asked from Imam al-Kadhim (a), and he has delineated proper boundaries of prodigality for Muslims in his answer to the question.

Imam al-Kadhim (a) was asked:
"if a person has ten clothes, has he squandered or not?"
Imam replied: "there is no problem with that. Not only it is not squandering, but it also causes the clothes to last longer and be usable for several years."
he continues" if you wear your formal clothes in an unclean place, it will be extravagance."

In another quote from Imam al-Sadiq (a), we have
"Extravagance is when you wear your formal clothes at home."

Others examples of extravagance:
Some people change their furniture and household goods very often, or throw them out while they are still usable for several years and replace them with new ones. This causes an increase in expenditure, and is an example of squandering.


Another example of prodigality is when a person buys whatever he sees (and likes), be it clothing, foods, etc.
Regarding foods, the holy prophet says:" Extravagance is when you eat whatever you see and desire."

It is true that humans have to eat and should enjoy eating, but immediately buying any delicious thing that we glance at, it is not an admirable trait

Another sign of an extravagant person is that he (strictly) follows his desires.

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Each and every one of us, have a duty to correct our eating and dressing habits in a way that's acceptable by God and the infallible Imams. This is one of the best deeds and prevents a lot of worldly and otherworldly harms.

We need to reach this belief that what God almighty says, is right and truth. But unfortunately, many of us don't truly believe in God and the infallibles, and the opinion of others have more importance for us than theirs; and therefore we blindly follow others and this causes a lot of excess in our affairs.

► Reasons and motivations for extravagance.

Extravagance, both has internal and mental reasons and motivations, and external ones.

One of the important reasons that cause extravagance in the life of people, is competition, which is normally referred to as "keeping up with the Joneses"

Competition and rivalry is caused by the fact that (most of the) humans, unfortunately don't know their true value, and where their true value and honor lies.

Due to our insufficient knowledge, we compete with others in a number of different affairs (to which we associate value), for example in buying houses, cars, decorations...

And this characteristic unfortunately exists in all humans, besides those who have found their true value and don't believe that they can gain greatness with anything outside their own existence and self.

As long as we don't know what our character, nobility and honor depend on, we can't avoid trying to compete with other in the superficial aspects of life (to keep up with the Joneses).

Of-course, it should be noted that positive and useful competitions also exist, and these are when the competition is done over human values.

In the Holy Quran we are advised to avoid negative, destructive competitions, and instead to compete with each other over true human values and even to try to overtake each other in these areas.

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► If your friend finds out that you are depressed, s/he may distance themselves from you.

To maintain a friendship, one must be happy and joyful, avoid depression and sadness, and refrain from talking about his problems to their friends over and over again. These actions will lead to stronger friendships.

► Tyranny and deceit can ruin friendships and relationships

The most destructive behaviours which cut the ties of friendly relations are tyranny and deceit.
Tyranny means that a person harms his friend outright and intentionally, to the extent that the friend witnesses his clear enmity, thereby leading to an end in their friendship.
A tyrannous person presents continuous harm to his friend.

Sometimes, a person may do wrong to his friend. Even if he makes a serious mistake, a true friend can forgive; because he does not view his friend as a cruel person, and knows that his friend may have made the mistake unintentionally. On the other hand, a person may mistreat his friend intentionally, even while persisting on his wrongdoings. These actions may cause for the destruction of an enduring friendship.

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As mentioned earlier extravagance has spiritual, moral, internal as well as external factors.
Rivalry or keeping up with the Joneses, was introduced as a major factor for extravagance.
It was stated that rivalry has positive and negative aspects.
Positive aspect of rivalry is related to what human dignity and excellence depends on.
While in negative rivalry, people look for things which are unessential for human prosperity, character, grandeur and magnanimity, and moreover they are not in line with the purpose of human creation.

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In Quran, negative rivalry is defined as self-glorification, and that's when people try to show themselves off to others by pursuing things that are not part of their character (money, fame, land, ...) as factors that would give their character more value.
Herein there are Some verses in Quran : "Do not extend your glance toward what We have provided to certain groups of them, and do not grieve for them, and lower your wing to the faithful.

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