“i am still heavy with the weight of living,”

— Life of the Party, ‘The Lover As a Dream’ by Olivia Gatwood

.

Only fools do what i do

My first birthday without him, I'm wearing his sweater feeling empty and missing our every year routine

*emotionally starving*

يا إلهي العادل
أمِنْ أجلِ تُفٍّاحة واحدةٍ
خسرتُ جنانَك الواسعة؟
أمِن أجلِ أن يسجدَ لي ملاكٌ واحدٌ
لم يبق شيءٌ في التاريخ إلا وركعتُ أمامه؟

— المحذوف من رسالة الغفران | عدنان الصائغ.

“Feel it. The thing that you don’t want to feel. Feel it, and be free.”

— Nayyirah Waheed

“You may see me, but I am hollow.” 

— Detachment (2011) dir. Tony Kaye

“I had only one desire: to leave, to walk, to die, whatever. I wanted to get away, never come back, disappear, melt away into the forest, the clouds, no longer have memories, forget, forget.”

— Ágota Kristóf, Yesterday

And the heart i know I'm breaking is my own to leave the warmest bed I've ever known