❤️ نمونه نوشته شده توسط زبان آموزان دوره مردادماه امسال - در سطح نمره 6.5

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The two pie charts depict how one family consumes energy in Australia and the amount of greenhouse emissions emitted into the atmosphere as a stem from this energy use.

Overall, it is clear that the highest proportion of CO2 emissions released into the atmosphere is as a result of water heating, heating and other appliances, while cooling and lighting are considered as lower-energy usage in these charts.

It is immediately obvious that the highest consumption of energy is recorded by heating and water heating at 42% and 30% respectively. Australians tend to use less energy on refrigeration, as that comprises only 7%, while cooling and lighting account for even lower energy usage at 3% and 8% respectively.

According to the second graph, it is evident that cooling is the most environmentally friendly energy usage which is only responsible for 3 percent of total emissions. Conversely, water heating has a significant environmental impact, contributing to 32% of greenhouse gas emissions. Additionally, other appliances release only 15% of harmful emissions into the atmosphere. (W.171)

❤️ Sample Band 8 Answer

The two pie charts compare the energy consumption in an average Australian household and the resulting greenhouse gas emissions from each type of energy use. While heating is the largest category in terms of energy use, water heating and other appliances have the most significant environmental impact in terms of greenhouse gas emissions.

Overall, it is clear that heating accounts for the largest portion of household energy use, while water heating is the primary source of greenhouse gas emissions. Additionally, other appliances contribute a smaller share of energy usage but result in a significant percentage of emissions.

In detail, heating constitutes 42% of energy consumption, making it the most significant category. However, its contribution to greenhouse gas emissions is relatively low at 15%. Water heating, in contrast, uses 30% of energy but contributes 32% of emissions, indicating a higher level of environmental impact for this type of energy use. Refrigeration, lighting, and cooling consume relatively small amounts of energy at 7%, 4%, and 2%, respectively, while their greenhouse gas emissions are 14%, 8%, and 3%.

Other appliances represent 15% of household energy usage yet are responsible for 28% of greenhouse gas emissions, highlighting their disproportionately high impact on the environment compared to their energy consumption.

Total: 205 Words

🔴 اما چرا نمره 8 ؟

🔺 Grammar and Structure: The response uses a well-organized structure with an introduction, detailed body paragraphs, and a concise summary. It employs complex sentence structures and phrases effectively, such as "indicating a higher level of environmental impact" and "highlighting their disproportionately high impact."

🔺 Vocabulary: The vocabulary is varied and academic, using terms like "constitutes," "primary source," "disproportionately high impact," and "environmental impact." These words precisely describe the data and reflect a high level of lexical resource.

🔺 Cohesion and Coherence: The answer is coherent and cohesive, with clear transition words such as "Overall," "In detail," and "In summary" to guide the reader. These transitions help maintain the flow of information and make the analysis easy to follow.

🔺 Accuracy: The data is interpreted accurately, with exact percentages and comparisons. This precision is crucial in achieving a high score as it shows the ability to accurately describe and compare data without exaggeration or misinterpretation.

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